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| MeltDown; Prologue | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 29 2005, 10:48 PM (168 Views) | |
| Cale | Jul 29 2005, 10:48 PM Post #1 |
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A forum Newbie.
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OK well Kenoku is writing a story so I thought why not put your story on this. Well tell me what you think. Espeicially you Kenoku. Advice or Critisisim is never bad from another author. Oh and sorry bout the spaces. I tried to make paragraphs and that's the best I could get. PROLOGUE: LOST The weary traveler treaked through the desert. He was searching for a city. A city he was positive could get him home. He raised hi head and saw dust rising from the east. "Marauders," he said with a curse. "Why now. I'm almost there." He searched in his pocket and noted the speed the marauders were traveling. He found what he was looking for and hid it up his right sleeve. He looked up and saw that the marauders' pace had quickened. They had seen him. He pulled his hood over his head and started walking. I can't believe this, he thought to himself, I'm about 50 feet from the city and I'm about to get mugged. The marauders where coming down the dune. "HALT!" One shouted. The man with the hood kept walking. He pulled in front of the man with his horse. "Halt!" "Why should I?" the hooded man replied. The marauder was taken aback by this. No one had ever defied or questioned him. He signald for the other marauders to form a circle around them. "You dare question Lord Tyson?!" one of the men barked at the hooded man. "Ah, so now we're into formalities." The hooded man pulled back his hood. "I'm Matt. Matt Junn" (say it like the month June) "Well Mr.Junn, it seems your lost," Tyson said with a sneer. "Mayby we could help you,"he said pulling out his pistol. "No thankyou," Matt said hitting his right sleeve, causing his gun to fall into his hand. Tyson was dead before he pulled the trigger. He starred at him blankly wit a hole through him. Even the marauder behind him was dead. "What was that?" asked a marauder. "The future," Matt said. "Now make a path for me or I will." The marauders' horses moved back. Matt walked up the dune. When he got to the top he looked down and waved. The marauders starred back blankly. Matt looked up saying, "Agusta Say-To!" The next momment he had vanished. (for the words, just try. it should be easy) "What just happened?" a marauder said to himself. |
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| Akai Ouyama | Jul 30 2005, 12:03 AM Post #2 |
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That guy
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the plot looks good, but i gotta ask wat is goin on? i dont understand wat is goin on at all? :P |
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| Cale | Jul 30 2005, 09:20 AM Post #3 |
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A forum Newbie.
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Yah sorry if its confusing. You'll understand whats going on in the next one. well hopefully you will |
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2:33 PM Jul 11