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Comic Spoiler
Topic Started: Jun 14 2005, 01:24 AM (350 Views)
Cruiser X
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Jedi Knight
[ *  * ]
DON'T READ THIS!!






I wrote this to show Veramm the idea I had for his character, and to prove that I DO have a plan for where this comic is going... sorta.

This'll probably be the 3rd chapter or something, so there's a gap between were the comic is, and this. ...Nuff talk, let's post this thing
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Cruiser X
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Jedi Knight
[ *  * ]
………“We need to hurry!” Cruiser barked, as the three Jedi sprinted through the segmented corridors. “He’s getting closer.”
Cruiser was only few feet ahead of the group, when Tar suddenly cried out a warning. A blast door slammed into the floor between them.
“Blast it.” Tar hissed, “They’re trying to separate us.” Not willing to wait and find out what the Sith planned to do next, she plunged her lightsaber into the door. “Veramm, give me a hand with this! …Veramm?”
Only an echo answered.

Torin Cruiser, shivered as an unnatural coolness filtered through the now empty passage. “Guess I should have seen that coming.” He mused.
“Yong Jedi…” A low voice boomed, rumbling across every surface.
“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Torin stalled, fully aware of the violet and orange light cutting through the door behind him. “but have you forgotten ? I’m just a mere student.”
“Oh, you’ve proven far to troublesome for such a lowly title. Why don’t you step away from that door, so I might see you?”
An invisible grip lifted Torin from his feet, then pulling him up the corridor, dropping him unceremoniously on his face. Seven more blast doors shut behind him.
“Not taking any chances, are you?” Torin murmured, as he lifted himself from the floor.
“Indeed.” The massive figure melted from the shadows. He was clad in ebony. Spots of fiery orange trim matched his alien skin. His eyes, sealed away by his mask, were marked by a pair of crimson slits.
“Solaris.” The young Jedi gripped his lightsaber tightly.
“You must be more powerful than I had foreseen, to have made it this far.” Solaris’ echoing voice continued. “I left you to die on Yavin, and you have become stronger for it, my old apprentice. You have earned a choice: join me, or be destroyed.”
“You didn’t really think I’d turn so easily, did you?” Torin smirked.
“With your friends lives in the balance? Perhaps.”
Torin’s body tensed.
“My, my. Quite emotional for a JedI, aren’t you?” Solaris observed. “Their lives are of no consequence to me.”
Solaris ignited his light saber. Amber light spilled forth. The shadows surrounding him fled to their respective corners. “It is the only way.”
“Never.” Torin, replied. I’ve seen such promises play out before. Such things are twisted, and no good can come of them, no matter how “honorable” it may seem. For them, I’ll make my own path!!”
“A pity. You would have made a fine Sith. Now you must be broken.”
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Cruiser X
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Jedi Knight
[ *  * ]
*******************
Veramm flew, as if possessed, through the winding interior of the ship, his Jedi robes trailing behind him. He tried desperately to wipe away the visions that now flooded his eyes. For a moment, he feared that he had run right past the ventilation duct that he sought.
Veramm saw himself lying helpless in the shadow of a sinister figure. I figure he knew all too well. Torin. Yet at the same time, it was not Torin. He looked no older than before, yet it was though youth had been striped from him. There was no emotion in this figure-this specter, no spirit that Veramm could recognize. Black voids stared out, in place of Torin’s eyes. Leaving Veramm where he lay, he moved toward Tar, and….
“NO!” Veramm howled, smashing clear through the ventilation hatch. “I WON’T let this HAPPEN!”
*************************************
Wordlessly, Torin ignited his lightsaber. The usual snap-hiss of the blade was accompanied by a blinding flare, bathing every surface with azure light. The light swiftly coalesced into a thin blade, enveloped by a deep cobalt-blue glow.
The Dark JedI stumbled back, “A solari blade…”
Torin dove forward, only to be blocked by a third saber.
“Did you really think that trick would work twice?” sneered Darth Chaos.
****************************************
Meanwhile, Tar was cutting her way through the third blast-door, and silently wishing there was JedI technique that would get rid of the sweat collecting on her brow. She was slicing the door with both sabers now, and hoping that she didn‘t really have four more doors to bet through. “Blast it Veramm, where are you?”
While she was focused on what was ahead, a pair of assassin droids snaked their way through the freshly cut openings. Vibroblades drawn, they approached with prefect silence. Two feet from their target, one of the droids registered the Twi-lek flick her wrists. -by that time, Tar was already pulling her blades out of their chassis.
“I don’t have time for this”
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Cruiser X
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Jedi Knight
[ *  * ]
************************************
A sharp crack split through the bulkhead, as Torin was slammed against the wall. Darth Chaos stepped respectfully aside, as Solaris approached. Torin barely returned to his feet as a force shockwave knocked him to the ground. Torn fought it, but the shockwave intensified and he was forced to his knees. The very air rippled and the bulkhead beneath him buckled.
“This must be painful for you.” Solaris taunted, “Just release your saber, and this can all be over.”
Blood fell from Torin’s lip like a hail of blaster fire. He raised his head, eyes blazing. “I’ll never give up!”
Cocking his head, “I really don’t appreciate the way your looking at me. Chaos, remove his eyes.”
“This is payback for humiliating me on Yavin.” Darth Chaos said, as he confidently held his saber straight out to one side.

A feral battle cry filled the ship as a massive figure crashed down through the ceiling. There was a streak of blue and a black-clad arm clattered to the ground. Darth Chaos fell, writhing. And Veramm rose to lock blades with Solaris. Veramm fell back, lifting his stunned companion by the collar.
At that moment Tar Ancalime breached the last door, sabers drawn and ready for anything. …anything but her friend’s body being thrust in her direction. Tar quickly shut down her lightsabers to avoid cutting Torin in half, as his thrown body bowled her over.
“Run!” Veramm roared. There was a flurry of blue and gold blades, then the secondary blast doors locked down.
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Cruiser X
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Jedi Knight
[ *  * ]
Solaris waved his left hand at his opponent’s face, “Sleep.” and Veramm collapsed to the floor.
“Pathetic fools,” Solaris calmly stated, his flickering wildly between red and orange, “there’s no escape.” The Dark Jedi plunged his claw into the plated floor, sharp veins traced their way from the impact.
“Veramm! No!” Torin cried as he threw himself at the sealed hatch. The entire passageway rippled and the ceiling and floor snapped shut like teeth before his face.
“We have to get out of here!” Tar commanded.
“But…”
“NOW!” she exclaimed, grasping his wrist. Crescent spikes began to shoot up from every surface.
The two Jedi sped through the writhing hall, dodging as the walls themselves attacked. The exit seemed to flee their approach. Leaping through, the door moved to snap them back up. The doorway then reared up, becoming a fanged mouth, pulling the side of the docking bay onto itself. Tar’s heart quickened as this mass of twisting metal took the form of a massive rancor.
The creature’s unnatural howls were cut short as a sudden hail of turbolaser fire took out half it’s face. The Jedi spun around to see their shuttle, already lifting off. Torin and Tar jumped onto the boarding ramp and the ship spun towards the docking shields.
“Commander,” Tar asked, “are the tractor beams disabled?”
“Heh, I was just getting around to it.” one of the troopers replied, flipping a detonator switch.
A dozen small explosions rocked Solaris’ flagship, and the small shuttle shot itself into deep space.
But for Torin, this victory was hollow. All he could do was stare vacantly at the floor. “Veramm… I failed.”
***********************************
Stepping over Darth Chaos, Solaris glared down at the unconscious Jedi. “You have cost me dearly this day. However… Take him to the brig.”
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Cruiser X
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Jedi Knight
[ *  * ]
***********************************
Screams filtered through the ventilation while Chaos clutched his remaining hand to his ear. “I’ve killed dozens before, even close friends…” he groaned, “Why would the groans of this backwater creature even bother me!?”
***********************************
Smoke lifted from Veramm’s blackened scales, his chains glowing like red embers. Coughing up blood, Veramm asked sarcastically, “What, is that all you’ve got?”
“Oh, you misunderstand me. That was just to get your attention.” His torturer replied. “I do so hate being ignored. You may call me Lloyd Strife, and you are?”
“You’ll get nothing from me, but a face full of spit.”
Lloyd gave him a disapproving glance. “You know, I would have expected a relative of Lord Dessan to be a bit more… polite.”
“You have no right…”
“Don’t I? Or is it just that you are unaccustomed someone speaking highly of your brother?”
“Did you ever consider,” Lloyd continued, “that Dessan might have been right?”
“No. He- he simply adopted the voice of those who tormented him all his life.” Veramm answered. “All that talk about how only the powerful have the right to live… those weren’t his words. Not really.”
“They were your words”
“No! I…”
“Don’t lie to me.” Lloyd corrected, “You’re covered in the stench of guilt. You turned your back on him, your own brother. You were controlled by those in power, just has he was. And when you finally escaped them, who did you turn to? Jedi! People who were even more powerful. The truth is, it has always been about power, it always is.”
“It’s not like that!”
“Isn’t it? What about your so called friends? Were are they now? If they were truly Jedi, would they not be breaking through this cell to save you? The truth is, that they have abandoned you. The truth is, they are too weak to do otherwise. The truth is, you have no place left to turn. The truth is,” Lloyd lowered his voice, “you belong to me.”
With that, Lloyd left Veramm to his thoughts.
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Veramm
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[ * ]
THAT ROCKS CRUISER!!!! i loved that part where i crashed through the ceiling and locked blades with solaris. i also like the fact that me and you were good friends before i fell to the dark side, its going to be more emotional during our fight together. (rock) (rock) (rock) (rock) (rock)
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Darth Chaos
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AWSOME! i love it cruiser good job bro B)
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Anca
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Ultimate Jedi Ninja Pimptress
[ *  *  *  * ]
Oooooo, it's too awesome for words!!

I can't wait to see it drawn!!
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Handi
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Furball
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Same. Its described AWSOMELY!!! That is a GREAT story. Hehe gonna be some awsome action in the pics ^_^
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Solar
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im really like where my charater is going, this rocks dude!!! (rock)
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