Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to All Wrestling Talk. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
Raw Closed Captions; March 30th
Topic Started: Mar 31 2009, 01:28 PM (283 Views)
King of Kings
Member Avatar
Politicker
[ *  *  *  *  *  * ]
This week, Edge becomes a fishermen, Big Show becomes a comedian, HBK becomes a maitrde and CM Punk changes his religion.

The Raw theme contains the lyric, "You've got a rolls royce so you better be nice."

We are live with malice in front of 16,000,080 fans. The Demand will respond to Shawn Michaels. We have a Wrestle Man preview with Big Cena. Michael Cole says, "I love to kick myself Raw."

Introducing Alisha Fox, Rebel Theme For Us, Tiffani, Kelly Gallant, Failed Tool, Maria, Nicki James, and the WWE Women's Champion Molina! The winner at WrestleMania will be crowned Mrs. Russo. Nicki James starts it off against Julianel. Remember the Davis Champion from SmackPod? The participants will be offering us different glands. Jerry Lawler says, "I have many favorite teen battle royals." Cole and Lawler wonder if Miguel will be in the Peeve About Arroyo. She was on the autocrat Firth of Clyde. Tiffani helps scream to victory. Santino comes out and says he gave head to the WWE President for Jack Daniels. He calls for an acid swimsuit exhibition. Maybe Nigeria needs some competition. It is a likert calzone. Santino continues by saying, "Miz and I deserve and have what it takes to be Mr. Russell Made. I'm about to unleash upon Mizanin something known as the main feed." Footpath Phoenix screams at Sandino Morale. The Devos attack Santino Marilla.

A video package from last week shows Triple H's Randy Orton. This will be a tasty WrestleMania here tonight. They've got AAA chained up to the top row. Triple H has the urn. You'll have to wonder if Randy Orton is little. On Monday Night Raw Crue, find out here tonight.

Up next, Chris Jericho's song will take on King Jerry Lawler.

Just Ford Men brings you Smack Off Night. Ric Flair said last week that he'll be proud to stand next to his late brothers. During the assault, Michael Cole says, "This is milky." Lawler yells, "Don't do him! Oh!"

Chris Jericho accepted the assault at WrestleMania, where he'll face Roddy the Piper Steamboat. To win, they just have to be his valentine. Chris is jerking off. Jericho went online last week. He crushed the gold wand that Sean Michaels gave to Flair. The legends need the spotlight of Wes Craven. Jericho called them clouds and puppies. He wants to put the legends in their palace of words. Michael Cole says, "Jerry the King looking to put Jericho in my space. Here comes my man, the caped crusade." The King has his jelly. Here comes Chris Jericho, the King has no choice but to fap. He defeated the legendary Harry. He looks to take out that super guy, Roddy Piper. He claims to allow the legends to laugh with the deers one more time. The King shoots Jericho. He gets on the mic and says, "You want me to sing, forget it. It's not a question of how bad I'll beef them. I will dilate them like I did Ric Flair last week. I'm going to be called a harmful biological parasite." He says that due to Mickey Mouse's false potato, these three friends will sing with their eyes. He will embarrass them when women date them. Only one man will be jaundice forever - Chris Jericho.

John Cena's new film Bell Rounds opened this weekend. It is a 20 hour thrill ride. When 40 ounces steel is unleashed by psycho dad, fail is on a collision course with the city of New Orleans. Danny the Wizard is the only solution. John Cena will face a challenge from the Bit Show. Michael Cole says, "Tonight, I sneak a preview of WrestleMania."

A replay from the past two weeks shows John Cena rolling in the World's Largest Ass Fleet. He got it right in the big man. Edge and Big Show had the common goal of mating John Cena. Show delivers a devastating punt to Edge.

Todd Grisham welcomes his guess on at this time, Josey! They discuss the World's Largest Leaf and the Retard. The chances of John Cena waking up as champion are non-existant. Edge enters and says to Cena, "It doesn't have to be that way. Two weeks ago, the Big showed you out, and last week, he knocked me up. He is 70 feet tall and a hundred pounds, and his pick-up truck's at Will's. We need to guess on the same page." Cena says he'd rather lose his bone than win Edge's help.

The PE title is also on the line, and later on tonight, Randy Orton will go to WrestleMania undress. DiBiase and Rhodes say that Randy's dress is not just for wrestling men, it's for the entire dweeb universe. Randy Orton is WrestleMania undressed.

According to Jack Korpela, Ultimate Beckett is the official Canadian sponsor for WrestleMania 25.

Michael Cole says, "We are six nights away from wrestling." Ladies and gentleman, we missed Shawn Michaels. Shawn is in the Undertaker and has other ideas. Jerry the King is hitting backside. We have seen Santino in mankey.

The lyrics "Puke on ya" are in Mysterio's theme. Raw Meat Stereo getting set to take on JBL. Rapist Serial hit that 69 out of nowhere on JBL. Rated Stereo will face JBL for his title at WrestleMania. JBL will make history for buying Famous Stereos. As a champion, he will do something rhetoric. He will deliver the most spicey victory in WrestleMania history. He says to Rey, "I'm going to put an inch in your wife, six days with the lights on bright. Don't take it personally, Santino." Michael Cole says that Undertaker is planning Michael's funeral. Randy orton's WrestleMania undress will include the whole weeping universe. We may have underestimated Paper Stereos. Out of nowhere, Cole says, "Rey, your appetite." At WrestleMania Duval: Wasteland, JBL will take on Meng in San Diego, California. Rate will have to go home and pound her at WrestleMania 25, which is this coming Saturday at Mile High Stadium. Reineke takes out at 2 1/2. Ramiz Stereo has been fighting a scatological disadvantage his whole life. He won the World Championship 2 years ago from Dupree. The guts of the sensational Ranney cannot fire. He turned up the psichosis and perhaps he did. He did with the seeds seventh on the isn't Ramiz Stereo. Great connects with the six nuns. He just paved the Intercontinental Champion. Ramiz Stereo coming from out of nowhere, riding JBL. Can Rei do it on Sunday?

Two thirds of the Friday Night Smacked Down main event will give head to head here tonight, as John Cena will squat on the Big Show.

This past Friday on Smackdown, Cena said, "Edge, General Manager Guerrero, and the Big Show have taken the Moral Deadly Championship hostage. But I, Wrestle Man, am going to take the World of When Championship back." He is going to wrestle Maria to be the champion. He squanders his match next.

We are celebrating 2 years of WrestleMania moments. At sundown, anything can happen in WWE. But this wasn't just any sun tan. This was WrestleMania of 11, Lawrence of Arabia. He was lowered to view the scroungy bookerman, as a giant walked in the rain. He surrendered his grass after brute force. The crying warriors seemed outmatched. He wanted to show the world his big load to make a statement. He signaled the M4 Dampener, and Lawrence Taylor has done the impossible. The WWE, as it was, was nine at WrestleMania 11.

We are told that the Doused Cowboys are at ringside.

We are on the road to WrestleMania, which is six ninths away.

The cry of "Happy toes" signifies the entrance of John Cena. Dispatches have for one fall! Introducing first for Wes Dewbery Massachussetts, weighed 240 pounds, Tom Cena! Cole points out that Cena will be sweaty on Sunday. Cena will get by the Frenette verse of the Big Show. Michael Cole has it on good authority that he weighed in at 400 pounds with The Miz. Edge is looking to be Big Show's lover. The General Manager got black tail from John Cena in public. The Big Show is capable of nuno. The shortselling Guerrero said he is anatomically correct. Big Show's right hand is drawing wrath for John Cena. The Big Show is rubbing the chest of John Cena with 485 clowns. John Cena had previously told Edge, "I don't trust you, I'm doing him alone." We are seeing the physics dance from the Big Show. Come Sunday, the title can change hands by a good samaritan. WrestleMania will become the new World Heavyweight Champion. Big Show is plumbing John Cena. This is the most physically dominated Big Show has looked in a while. John Cena thinks impact is gross. You better be in the best shame of your life for WrestleMania. John Cena is looking for an opening on the bigness of the Big Show, who splashes his coronary. Big Show is throwing him around like a seagull. Edge is gliding the Big Show. John Cena drops a log from the top rope. We are reminded that this is the longest running exotic show in television history. He keeps smashing his back into his big pole. John Cena is inspecting this match. John Cena is burning for the near naked Big Show. John Cena did not accept the proposition of any Lashley. The Big Show is unstoppable with his puns. John Cena doesn't trust Edge in the Big Show. Show is calling for a Joke Slam. John Cena goes for the SCM on Big Show. The size of McGuirk and the Big Show means that the stiff cannot be used. John Cena duct tapes the big right hand. Big Show is rolling towards Russell Main with a victory. Will he be the new World Of Which Have Been? The Ultimo Opportunist wants sex before WrestleMania. Edge is like a rabbit here. The Ultimate Bar Stool takes advantage of Shonda. Big Show is looking at Anxious saying that you are not. Edge will do anyone to complete the championship.

Tripod H is no doubt looking for revenge after Brandy's actions lasts week. Lawler says, "I get Stephanie."

Shawn Michaels will square dance with the Undertaker at WrestleMania 25. He brought sheep to this past Friday's Smackdown. Shawn says, "I am Undertaker at the 20th anniversary of WrestleMania, in front of 207,000 people. Only I will ascend Victoria's toy." Apparently, Shawn Michaels is holding a parrot for the Undertaker's undefeated streak.

On a WWE Canada Update, Jack Korpela says, "Hi, I jack the gorilla."

The Big Show is showing us he may be free. John Cena is showing us 8 pounds of suede. Edge shows up and the Ultimate Onboard Tuna Fish seizes the opportunity. Edge delivered beef to John Cena.

Has Shawn Michaels gone to fart with the Undertaker? Michael Cole announces that he's been painting these past few weeks. Cole wonders if Shawn is trying to mask his fear of intimacy. Shawn says, "I stand before you as a main entree. This meat basket is for you, Undertaker. This Sunday, York Street will cease to exist. We have tried rapping in the past, and it's always made the headlines come out on top. In all of your illustrious career, there is one thing you have never been able to accomplish, and that is be mean. Over the past several weeks, I have licked you in the face and trickled on the graves. I am Mr. Restaurant." Undertaker, who we have never seen out of, appears. Shawn Michaels reappears and delivers Sweet Jim Music. The Undertaker personally exalted him. The light went out, and when it came on, it was the Undertaker standing in urine. He got hit with Sweet Chip Music.

This coming Saturday night, a man is going to be inducted by Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania 14. At King of the Ring 1996, Steve Austin said, "Talk about the john who's lost in 316 with high school winners." Austin earned a reputation of the toughest gums in the WWE. Steve Austin does who he wants, when he wants. Stoned Cold Steve Austin will be on the U-Swayze Network this coming Saturday for the Hall of Fame ceremony. According to Jerry Lawler, the event will take place in his home.

Then, on Sunday, WrestleMania 25, our four residents are killers. It's the 25th anniversary of John Cena, Edge, and the Big Show. It is a Triple Red match for the World Championship. Jeff Hardy will take on his mother. Jeff wants to destroy himself. The legends take on the topic of Chris Jericho. Mr. WrestleMania believes he will burn the Undertaker's teeth forever. The WWE Championship is a mistake when Triple Aids takes on Randy Orton, who will be with Coady Road and Ted The Boss.

The winner of Motley in the Bank could cache it at WrestleMania. CM Punk won the bank last year. When we come back, an eight band battle royal featuring all the participants in this Sunday's Robbing the Bank match.

An undercover magazine about WrestleMania is currently being sold.

Jeff vs. Matt at WrestleMania is going to be Brother vs. Dumber. One mess divided the other's celery.

Michael Cole says, "That briefcase is mine because is contains gold." The distraction caused Oh Henry. CM Punk is a Christian in trouble. You never know what's going to happen with a ladder badge. The new United Stamos Champion is MVP. He is trying to dress Shelton outside the ring. Chris Jentsch is trying to hang on. Goatee of CM Punk did not touch the floor, he's still in this. Kane wins the battle royal by tainting both men. Could you imagine if Kane gets the briefs this Sunday, how dangerous he'll be? His eye is on the bride. He wants a little tasty food at WrestleMania. Inside the briefcase is a conman guaranteeing a title shot. Seven other piss ants will be trying to keep him from doing that on Sunday.

We're about to see Orton's dress. He's going to reverse forever. He delivers Adrian next.

A WrestleMania commercial features Big Show saying that he has the largest meat in the world. John Cena says, "I don't dare". Edge says, "I am a late World Champion."

The words "I hear Boys To Men" signify the entrance of Randy Orton. Legge Orton is the challenger for the weak championship at WrestleMania 25. Michael Cole says that Randy Orton's ass has been absolutely unbelievable. The biker Randy Orton showed extreme acts of cowardice, lassoing many people. He won't quit yanking Triple Hank and his wife, Toby Keith McMahon. He has Stephanie McMahon's front. At the age of 4, Randy Orton became the youngest world champion in the history of the WWE. The next night, however, the man he called his Mentos turned on him. Amanda claimed to be his friend, but turned into a tornado in a fit of a jello binge. The name "Daivari" comes up during the video package. Orton says, "I vomited myself through my innards, but Hathaway had to wait until I found some tall men to start and build a home. I had to wait until Tripplett Lashley found something to turnabout. More so and it began this past January, when I unlimited in Triple H. I went on to win the 2009 O'Boyle Rumble." He took everything away from Tripplett Lashley. He chose his family, the most powerful scrambled egg family in the wrestling world of the McMahons. He took Vince McMahon and shaved his sweet white Stephanie. He turned his arcadio on Stephanie. He scoffs at the idea of having I Burchill Be disorder. He warns the crowd, "Don't piss too close to me." He continues on, "I knew that Triple H's Italian flipper went to my home to attack me." Triple H hit a sledgehammer to Roach and Chaos. Now Triple H can look at him and see the man who ended his life. Orton sealed the eight with a case. If Trilpe H even thinks of coming to the frame of WrestleMania with a sledgehammer, he is disqualified for Canada, then loses the WWE Championship. Orton has taken everything except WWE's Tyson. He says, "When that happens, top superstars will climb the ladder to lay me one day. Orton notices a limo out back and demands that ten Codys come out with the previous security. Orton says, "Triple H, if that is the problem, I have no problem being awarded the title because you filled the cup. Can you believe your ice? it's Vance! The words "It hurts my tummy" apparently signify the entrance of Shane. As Vince, Shane, and Triple H charge the ring, Lawler cries, "Oh my God, take it off!"
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Create your own social network with a free forum.
Learn More · Sign-up Now
« Previous Topic · WWE · Next Topic »
Add Reply