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| Raw Closed Captions; March 9th | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 10 2009, 11:34 PM (97 Views) | |
| King of Kings | Mar 10 2009, 11:34 PM Post #1 |
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Politicker
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This week, Triple H gets another title. The WWE show intro apparently contains the words, "You farted, give me a hell yeah!" Randy Orton said he was depressed by Dark Knight Triple H. He's going to charge him for assault with a deadly wedding. Triple H will be going to jaywalk. Triple H says to Orton, "You can touch down the entire McMahon family. You need to go to WrestleMania and Pete me for the Wii Championship. You made a conscious choice with the runs." Orton says, "I think I've changed, Mike. You do not pull out your hanky, or you will spend WrestleMania Bath Beyond." Orton starts talking about when he kicked an old skunk, and when he was at the arcade with Stephanie. He says to Triple H, "Your wife remembers when I grabbed her by the breast." The last time they were in the ring, Triple H broke Lawler's bone. He finishes by saying, "Norman Bates is next!" On Smackdown, The Game was literary stock courtesy of Legacy. We are live in Jacksonville with Mr. Dressup. Tonight, live via satellite, we will be at the sugary home of Random Orton, where he will comment on his calculated Sultan Triple H. The Great Lake Kid Shawn Michaels makes his entrance. He has Swagger back in Cole. He shows topless Shawn Michaels. Michaels looked at Undertaker's unclean streak under a telescope. He is not pounding south. Last week, he gave his WrestleMania opponent a little massage. He says, "I select Capcom games. I have never been out to prom. Streets are meant to be broken. Notting lasts forever." The Undertaker appears in the ring and Shawn says, "How low, Undertaker? I've been dissecting you. We've taken different baths, different personal believe, yet here's me arse. Need I remind you that I am that man that set Bart for the Lactose Match? I retired the legend's hairy Ric Flair." Shawn is the salad topper. He hasn't been feeding at Jerime. Undertaker says, "I will soon lay you. What shoes you should concern yourself with when you visit Lee. What I am going to do to you is steal the toaster. I will take center rang at WrestleMania. I am the most dangerous tity that has jumped food in this ring. Careful in what you wish for, because you have owned Bill Gates." Michaels responds, "I will rest comfortably on anal fine. I ended the streaking Undertaker. You have never cleaned me." Shawn is oozing his pants as he leaves the ring. Data has never lost to the Undertaker. What did John Cena put in Vickie's ear? Only Victory knows. Approaching the ring, John Blow Hard Layfield! Welcome back ladies and settlement, we are back in Jack's Villa, Florida! The multi-billionare, Louisiana Ted, could become Intercontinental Champion. Monday Night Raw on the ocean floor is available now. His opponent, from Shake Up Boys, weighing 222 pounce, Ken Punk! We have lost a WrestleMania return in Texas. Michael is going to shock the world. He thought the Undertaker would streak. JBL goes up against a man and Punk. Seek Them Punk defeated Ms. Anne Morrison. JBL quickly checks out the Intercontinental Champion. JBL leaves the ring, but there is no rest for the weird. After commercial, we are back on Monday Michael Cole. JBL certainly has men in a bat way right now. He delivers a huge boob to the side of the face of CM Ponte. Ponk was Hurl Champion for a number of months. JBL would become sexually frustrated if he does not win tonight. He was the longest raping man in Smackdown history. He was talking about the financial situation of his condoms. The champion with Mike left in him. JBL hits a roundhouse wristband. He will use every part of his body in CM Punk. Punk needs to somehow copper JBL. He is coming on JBL. CM Punk is going tiny again. He hits the running british bulldog. Watch this big need to the side of the head. JBL rapes his eyes, but the referee was blinded. The new Inter-Romper Room Champion is JBL. He viciously writes the eyes of CM Punk. He looks at CM Punk's virtuous behind. You are looking live at the homo Randy Orton in St. Louis. He will be giving a juicing interview, talking about his brutal asphalt on Triple H. WWE extends a special thank you to Easy Daisy for this year's WrestleMania theme song. Vickie says to JBL backstage, "You are going to do something for May." Edge enters and says, "He ruined my contact binder last week." When Vickie is asked about what was whispered in her ear, she says, "It does not fatten!" We are live via satellite with Randy Orton, and he wants to douche his wife. He talks about going to the Rumble for the WB Title. He wants the footage shown again so everyone can see his intimate violation of Triple H. Cody Rhodes was the first man in Ted DiBiase. Triple H was being attacked and trying to fellate. That was a vicious orca attack. The deal between them was, "I don't rub you, you don't rub me." Orton was yelling at Triple H, "We aren't in you yet, one more time!" Orton said to Triple H previously, "You can't put your hands on me unless you make a joke." Returning to the interview, Orton says, "I could've caned you like I did my wife. I am confident that you will show Sam Houston. That prideful Triple McMahon will take a poultry out of you. I'm going to sit on my wife for the main event tonight." Up next, the WWE World Champion takes on the Divas Champion. Maryse enters, and Lawler says, "I think she just wanked me." She will be taking on the WWE Women's Champion Cena. There is probably a year checking the new Diva 365. Caesar sends the champion back into the ring. On commentary last week, Maurice said that she is on men everywhere." They are now snapping the rate of Kelly Kelly. The shouldre bak her in half. The body is only a bendaway. The Women's Champion, Meal Night, delivers a boob to the face. She has to be a little biased on Marines. Reese has agitated Melia a little bit here. Hey, it's Raw girls on Smackdown! Intergender Manager Vickie Guerrero has the holiday contracts binding between the Big Show and Edge with the World Champions at WrestleMania. A Smackdown recap shows Vickie saying, "It's my pleasure to sigh on the main event of WrestleMania. The relation of moving between me and the Big Show is strictly professional as my husband loves you." Edge says, "The Big Show took care of the view and drop a bombshell on me. Whining Big SHow makes him so special." Big Show tells Edge, "You're not a good Vickie." Edge responds, "Apologize Show, I have more men than you did ever." Whatever did Cena whisper to Victoria Secret? The WVE contract signing between Vicks Show and Edge will be officiated by Vickie next. We are celebrating the 25 hankies of WrestleMania. It was originally Festus fused vulture. The Sky's Home in Toronto housed 67,000,000 fans. The Giant Grace does one final time. The Ultimate Champion vs. the Ultimate Penis at WrestleMania Six. They were strong to the SkyDome and they're ready. The Ultimate Warrior was shooting up personified. This is where he burned his tights. WrestleMania was seen in more than 16 counties at Borders. It is 7 days until the 25th anniversary. Standing bi for the contract signing, Ricky Guerrero! Raw is presented by Mario National Cart. Vickie says, "Lose me." She announces that, to celebrate the 10th anniversary of Romania, we will have a 25 Diva Batter Royale that will feature Deividas from Raw, Smack DOwn, ECW, and passed WWE History. The Winner of that match will be crowned the first ever Miss Russell Mann. She is here for the arrest contract signing of the World Heavyweight Champion. The challenger back is the World's Largest Athlete on the Big Show. The biggest shocker is whatever was put into the rear of Vickie Guerrero. That quote was not your champion. He takes shorts, but he dominates the mauled kids. And now the champions are Rated As Superstar, Mitch! He thinks his knees prove something to the world. Cole wonders if Edge is circumcised. Vickie tells both men to give out their seed. Edge says, "The Key, I need to say something. Things that neither of us wanted to take were back. It was from Toronto where I was in tennis. I also saw Warlord take on Hulk Hogan." He says to Show specifically, "You're a better Warrior, I'm a far better Hulk Hogan. We have a chance to have an apple and a historic match at WrestleMania. The two top super starts in the WWE today. So I say, les put the past behind us and concentrate on milking history." Show responds, "I'm really glad to hear you say that a Nyberg, I hear you $100%." They are interrupted by the words "I like folk", which are apparently the opening lyrics to John Cena's theme. The lyrics continue, "I can't turn myself off." Edge says, "Rodon rodon rodon rodon, exactly are you doing here? You don't belong, dear. Let's get Ms. Leach out of our ring." Vickie interrupts and says, "I invited John out here after a lot of cigarettes, it was only fair to the audience that I allow him to compete for tights at WrestleMania Mania." Edge responds, "They Key, who cares if audio syncs?" Cena continues, "I came on the contract sighing. I had to tell something to Dickey at a piece of information. She needed a deer knit before it all became official." He got on his cell at Smack Down and told Vickie that he loves her. He goes on to say, "I told Vickie that I'd fuck her. Because you amp, you guys may illegally married, but i can't control who I fall in love with. I know she feels me too. This hot wang wants my heart and wants the World Heavyweight Championship on Vickie's garage. I love dick." Edge says, "You do not love Vickokee. You're playing on her emotional stain. So you can worm your way into Vickie?" He instructs Vickie to "terror" the contract up. He then instructs her to "Rip one." Cena then says, "Forget it, I can't Jay Mohr, forget it you're right, I don't love Vicki. To be quite honest, the sight of her dick. You wanted it, got it politely, and told Vickie that Raw was held in Holmes' hometown." Cena then showed footage of Vickie and Big Show. He says to her, "The tanks are putting me in the tiel match." Vickie responds, "I know we have these animalistic searches, but we have Wayne after WrestleMania. Until then, I can't shit. I hope for Windham's WrestleMania." After the footage is over, Cena says, "Vick gave you some explaining to do." Edge turns to Vickie and says, "Poop in my face." The words "For those who want The Rock, I'm what you want" are heard, indicating Chris Jericho's entrance. He actually has the hearse to qualify for WrestleMania at the Mountie's Bank Ladder match. Lawler says, "To get tight with this man, I can't talk about his hashes these past few weeds." He was taxed by the legends of those chemistry. Rocly the Dragam Steambat was one of them. He vows to PM Jearth on the head, saying they're pat. Jericho uses Mickie the Roaring Wrestler as an example. He is our turning head. Jericho faces Kofi King Stand. Chris Garrett will have picked the most inopportune bears into the cover. After a commercial, the oars are back on Monday Night Raw. Chris Jericho is in Kurt's role. The man that scales and claims he will get the cash and if Chris Jericho keeps up with Benson, it won't be him. This is an inopportune time for shenanigans. Superstars that grab tits get money in the bank. Kofi King Houston hits a knights cross body. King Houston gaining moments now. Jericho tried to burn his belly. Cole talks about Kofi's great legs. Jericho shoots the half hugs at King Houston. Kinks In is showing him what he's made of. Jericho could be closing in on Vick Gariepy. He-Man is that, with Kinks In's controlled trends. His cell is electrifying. He wants to wet his dream and go to WrestleMania. Kofi Kinks In blocks the klick and out he'll get locked in areas in the middle of the ring of submission manuever. He's trying to reach Jericho's moob. The word "Woot" is suddenly heard as Ric Flair comes out on stage. Kingston takes a couple of lines. Kofi kinks and qualifies. Ric Flrai King hit him where that costed him a trip to Houston the Fifth. That Great Big Party no matter where you win it. Rickler was his distraction. Kofi King Houston is headed to wrestleMania to compete in the Money in the Tank Abbott Match. Randy Orton is live being a satellite. Cole asks him, "Why are you here in the interpolation?" Orton responds, "I'm not hiding from Tripl A being a youth. I'm afraid what I might do to him. I'll cum a minute little by little, but not always in control of my actions. But, I'm snowing. I will enjoy it tonight, I assure you I row." A Smackdown commercial begs the question, "Can the Demon bury this vicious Russian Ford?" Backstage, Chris Jericho comments on Ric Flair's distraction earlier. He says, "Ric Flair took away my mother. I dare you to be retarded next week on Raw, and phase me. Here's your chance to relive Maury. Bastion's here for the cheers of the adulterous hypocrites and paradigms won last time. So come back next weed Flair, basque. Enjoy your son." Lawler hopes Ric bakes him an odeur. Already this year, we fucked five men in the Hall of Fame for the WW 2009 ceremonies. All of them are due in the bird with Cocoa. He is coming out a huge flop. Our Carrie Frankie transformed the WWE. WWE Bread outfits, colorful sunglasses, a constant smile and his bravado boys made him a big hit with fans of all ages. He was pound for pound, taken literally fly over. Coco Be Wired makes up for it with his speed. His signal was a huge part of the success of the piledriver. He was a stealer in-ring, preferred whores. Beware and Frankie wore rude's blazer. WWE is inducting the Third Man Cocoa Beware into the WWE Hall of Fame. Congratulations to Cocoa. He will be inducted by the Honky Donk Man. Ain't He Sterile makes his way to the ring for a spicey sex man match. Cole says, "But not me, or back live online that I robbed, and it's a sex man tag team match." There is Ms. Morrison. I chambelee Ms. and Morrison or get a tag with this monster. A monster heel joins Sheltered Benjamin's MVP. It was a big upset by Kofi Kinks In beating Chris Aero. Earlier tonight, Michaels stood up to rape her. You just can't lie man, they had the camera rolling. Captain Chris Mars, otherwise known as Cricket is also a participant in this match. John Cena is now the World Championship. It was a treat for X-Pac and Big Show. Cole wonders if Christian will be naked on Sci-Fi. He kicks out of the Jakeo, here comes John Morris. The Hick Magnet is a regular Gold Bond. Cole talks about Rey's testicles. The Hurricane comes off the top rope. Morrison Rubble is here in your screen there. Morrison is illegal man. The Jacksonville Jagged Wires could use the gain. There goes the Big Red Mobster. Did you see the moo by Rey Mysterio? Did you see the 619 that The Rock did? Here are your winners, at Griskin and Mainly Cereal. Christian is finally electrifying men on Monday Night Raw. Triple H was whacked by three men. We will see a huge main event next week when Shawn Michaels' Undertaker will take on Jay Youngblood Kozlov. The release of the futuristic films is 12 Rods. In this movie, there is a bad named Michael Jackson. He bombed endlessly. No one fears Michael Jackson. He asks Cena in the film, "You like gay mouthtraps?" and goes on to say, "We are just about done, Randy." Jim Ross, personally, cannot see John Cena in Michael Jackson. We are now set live on Raw for our main events, a two on one hundred match. Under Deuce, the team of Holy Rhodes and Ted Jobs! WWE is happy we could get cameras inside Rhodes tonight. The lyrics to Triple H's theme are "Time to lay the Game", followed by "I am not gay". From Greenwich Rob Conway, he is the Wii Champion, Triple H! He is the Serious Paul Assassin. He may appear to be anywhere. After he no-shows, the kids are Romeo and DiBiase. Orton pops up on the tron and says, "Nobody should greet Smiley right now. Ted and DiBiase, get out your pointys." He says that Triple H gave him too much rent. He continues, "I'm taking his personality. I'll send you to the hospice with the rest of your family." Suddenly, he yells "Weight stop! Samantha, don't be a whore!" Triple H charges through the house, asking everyone, "Where's Mizzy?" He says to Orton, "You should've finished hand job." Orton complains to the cops that Triple H toked in his house. The cops tell Triple H, "Get in the car and give head." |
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| President Skroob | Mar 11 2009, 12:52 AM Post #2 |
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Messiah of Cool
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No Jay Mohr Jay Mohr. |
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| King of Kings | Mar 11 2009, 01:18 AM Post #3 |
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Politicker
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Just so you know, that isn't the word filter. The closed captions actually said that. Favourite line this time:
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