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Smackdown Closed Captions; March 6th
Topic Started: Mar 7 2009, 07:15 PM (289 Views)
King of Kings
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Including the gayest paragraph in closed caption history.

As the show opens, we are told that we are listening to "Musbyic". The 25th Big Show is the new number one defender. Post Man may not even be going to WrestleMania.

The lyrics to the Smackdown theme state, "If you like Mikey, I'll never let you down."

The Rhodes at WrestleMania continues tonight. The Euro made it official Monday night for tonight's contact finding.

The Undertaker enters, and the closed caption team is apparently not a fan of his, as they put the word "Twat" on the screen during his entrance. Undertaker will find a nice position at WrestleMania on Shawn Michaels. Michaels defeated Put It Here Kozlov. The Undertaker is 170-0 at WrestleMania. We are about to face the wrath of The Undertaker's ear. Undertaker gets on the mic and asks, "Do you have some change?" He talks about his world with The Miz. He has a desire to feed them Eggos. He says, "My girl, Shawn Michaels, I accept your lunch." According to a video package, Shawn Michaels is the salad topping. Undertaker continues on, "I know what you're trying to danefull. You've chosen the wrong person to play gay with. Paul M, Europe's fate will be no different. I made peace with it out. What I once told Seo, was that sometimes, it is Howell trying to have beans."

We are shown a video package about WrestleMania 33. It earned a very firm place in Mount Rushmore Entertainment. It bored witnesses with a main event, featuring Hulk and Andray. They pissed on this industry. The foundation was made, and 'enormity' said the town. The turd breaking WrestleMania is to follow.

Vickie, on the phone, states, "No one reacharounds me." Jeff Hardy enters and asks, "You wanted to pee?" Vickie says to Jeff, "Like manner remind you the year brother Matt Kostya cost the Debbie Debbie Championship." Jeff talks to Vickie about "some money in your bank". He finishes, "Whoever's in your husband with the Big Show, don't be surprised."

Matt Hardy enters and says, "So Jeff isn't white now. It's very obvious he is running drug problems. But he can't run from Maine. I will destroy Jeff Hardy, along with six other pedophiles." MVP enters for this Monty in the Bank qualifier. Jim Ross says, "My contacts inside that briefcase." They are a bowl-full to qualify ass. Hardy braids MVP's neck. That was an excellent perverse shot. The briefcase hangs 60 feet above the ring. Six months ago, this capacity crowd wouldn't be sharing MVP. Matt Hardy looks pretty hard. He is one of the raptors of controversy and is causing the title to be. The closed captions suddenly start calling him Jeff Hardy. Jeff Hardy will compete with MVP's mounds. Jeff Hardy does not want to fight Jeff Hardy. He does not want to find his brother. Gothreaux by every day is an MVP in the past. He has asked the suplex, and is at the least doing it. Jim Ross suddenly asks, "Jerry, are you there?" This is a cease of urgency about the superstars. MVP likes snow boots. That was a nice account by Matt Hardy. Matt Hardy with the soap. The MVP counted. MVP can add his fist to CM Punk, who came in Mark Henry.

This past week on Raw, our General Manager shocked everyone by screwing Edge and Big Show in the ring at the same time.

An ad for a pay-per-view called "Wrestle Canadian" is shown. The lyrics to its theme song are "Shoot Hugh, shoot Hugh down."

Jim Ross welcomes us back by saying, "Nobody could sing better than me. I want to thank the government of the universe for the 12th record. We took people who took advantage of her wodnerful ratings."

A clip from the Slimy Award Big Show, the Kurt Sheet, is shown. Next week, we will see a six pack of stuff coming out of both ends.

The Colons could be the Undisputed Taken Champions after defeating Mr. Morrison in the online.

We are welcomed back to Smackdown by Jim Ross Look Away At Her. Approaching the ring for Montreal, Quebec, Marie's! Maria surprise us showed up on Monday Night Raw alongside Molina. That did not end in a nice sitcom. The Smackdown Reviews Champion, Maurice, attacked Molina during a tag match that featured Nicki James. Whoever messaged one got detention.

During a video package for Umaga, Jim Ross says, "This nude manga is of a different kind. He bakes those nasties is no fair." Umaga's finisher is apparently the Samoan Bike. He is the Samoan Bull Doze Off.

Michelle McCool, on commentary, says "Tonight model will make things any easier than I on Friday at Smackdown". Jim Ross says, "For my calculations, may be off East Tore third match." The Smackdown Annan Title match is not much there. McCool says that neither one of them stenograph. Tazz says to her, "At the cinema show, a submission home in the street is a beautiful old." Maurice won about a fluke would be slight. McCool says, "The lives of the whole, it's better to realize it's my world to lick yours." Eve's Tauros shows great atheleticism. There is nothing wrong with that strategy, that aspect efforts gathering like Jim Coward. She can stop, but he was champion. Marie's sluttier. That's all she capitalizes on, with the inexperience of Taurus. Jim Ross says to Michelle, "Shout, a lot of people believe Race has a very viable he she." He apparently goes off on a tangent, saying "Michelle...yesterday, yesterday, yesterday." McCool says, "Champion has been in control of my title." If she gets her title back, she will be able to sing. Ross asks her if she feels bad officiating cost the temperature. She responds, "I'm deftly saying it was bad officiating. Is it okay I'm fond of the 90s girls that mess with athleticism?" He Taurus is showing Ace. Jim Ross asks, "Mishael, do you have a locker room?" Michelle wants JR as her friend. Tazz says, "She didn't mince words there." Maurice can capitalize on Ease mishap. She uses the DT, that we saw executed on the outside of the ring Monday. Molina, the Women's Championship, runs in. Michelle McCool is a cheap shot cartoonist. She looks at her hands and works. She does not hold a lease at the moment.

Who is going to win WrestleMania 25's 35 year anniversary? The Today Show and Edge will have the official signing. An agent of the contracts will be in this ring next.

The Canadian sponsor for WrestleMania 25 is "Ultimo Beth In Bed", according to Jack Korpela.

The Rock shoots his pillow at WrestleMania. The music of DC will rock WrestleMania official, over assuming his theme song 25th anniversary.

Vickie talks about steamy pleasure at the official contract signing. She says Edge is a future tool of the elite. He is superior athletes Do Be Do Be history. Jim Ross says, "I think that Guerrero will give her husband a blowjob." Edge has not seen his money. Jim Ross continues on, and says "If I'm on Edge, I'm confused." Edge gets on the mic and says to Vickie, "I'm going to do this victory. I need to know if Real Deal is between you and Big Show." Vickie responds, "The relationship between Bayshore and I is strictly professional. I'm at my hottest and I love you." Edge now says, "I need to know the truth. But how can I, for the few months Big Show stopped carrying you? Why the bust special, why?" He is interrupted by the song lyrics, "Well it's the Sicko." Big Show gets on the mic and says to Edge, "You're the ultimate booty call. There is something going on between us, we're getting busy. Nothing going on between 50 Guerreros and I. There is no porridge trickling business. I'm a far bitter champion than you. That's why I, WrestleMania, am going to beat you." Edge says, "If that's the truth, what this is all about, Dickie Guerrero? Because Big Show, this donut break's for you. You can use that dominating state. I am an eight time Girl's Champion. Aydin winning champions and stepping over people since I entered the Dubya Dubya Re. I'm more talented than me, and I'm smarter than you. That is Fighting Guerrero chose to, because I will walk. Let me tell you the truth. I'll be with more men than you'll ever be." Big Show calmly replies, "Why don't you find my contacts." John Cena enters and shoots on the World title. He delivers a shot ahead of the Big Show. John Cenaand crashes a table into Adage with absolut chaos. John Cena squirms in the General Manager. The lyrics to his theme music make reference to "The Fishing Division".

Triple Agent will face the Samoan Bull Doser. Stay tune to see the latest duck in the WWE Hall of Fame.

We are grumbling here on Birdie Night Smackdown. John C. Not interrupted. He destroyed the entire contract shining. Cena put something in the General Manager's rear. Was that gay?

We will have 2009 inductions into the Hall Of Fame this year. Stockholder Steve Austin, the Fabulous Point Brothers, and Ricky The Drag Queen Steamroll have already been announced. The next inductee is Cowboy Bill Alfonso, who once said, "They not know what gel I'm going to use." For the better part of the devastated World Nine Wrestling Federations in 1967, the ad had legendary battles with Broom Hold Sammartino. Watts showed quickly that he will fight firey fire. He owned and operated Big Mouth Wrestling Promotion. Ted DiBiase, Should Neidhardt, Pooch Freed, and Junkyard Lamont all got their start there. He would later serve for the top executive for both WWE and BCW. He will be inducted by Jim Ross, who says, "It will be my pleasure to fuck the big cowboy."

Backstage, Edge says to Vickie, "I'm so sick of Cena sticking his nose into you, big sis. Can you smack on some push-ups with Crena power you can use?" Vickie says the signing will now be next week on Monday Night Wine.

Daivari is randomly mentioned by the captions for seemingly no reason.

Dicky Guerrero was sobbing in her office.

Jeff Hardy will try and qualify for the Mommy's Bank ladder match, where his brother Matt fails.

Russo M is celebrating 25 moments. Tinseltown's biggest moment in 5002 was WrestleMania 21. It was one chance to sherron the grandest stage of the mont. Daivari is randomly mentioned once again. After delivering a Tombstone piledriver, the Undertaker is apparently champion. Batista is unleashed in the attic. The following comatose is the Monkey on the Back ladder match, which was the debut of an innovating concept. The fate of their competence hangs in the balance. Hos were crushed, Dreamer was shattered. It was a two-man demolition derby. One man stood above the mall - the Rated All Our Superstar, Edge!

This is my bank qualifier, set for one falls! From Catering Nord Carolina, weighing 225 pounds, Jest Hardy! Jeff Hardy's brother sucked in school. He will be qualifying all day. We are half there, with CM Punk, the Big Red Mister, the World's Strongest Hermie, and MVP. His opponent, from Orange Hurts, win 248 pounds, the Gold Standart, Sheldon Benjamin! That briefcase means an opportunity to wrestle for the Debbie Debbie Championship. Benjamin wants to have more golds. He could be the World Anyweight Champion, or the Dolby Double We Champion. Shelton is the Puss Champion. He executes a Northern Light Cineplex on Hardy. Sheldon is not wasting any time. Matt is jealous of his brother's sex and popularity. Those who are qualified are manicured like Jeff Hardy. MVP was competing with Matt Hardy's bank earlier. Jeff is the extreme piss taker. After commercial, we are told that Jim Ross has gotten off Shelton Benjamin. How to power off the United States Champion? He is the Gold Standup. He could watch his brother. SSM Roji is in control. Jeff winning would be poetic justice, considering Matt's auctions. Jim Ross says that there is not a better pure ass than SHelton Benjamin. Jeff Hardy uses with cream-style macaroni. At WrestleMania, the stakes are so high, and the prize is The Miz. After covering Benjamin, we are told that Hardy is holding onto his wife. You saw how close his hand was. Hardy hits the Whiskers in the Wind from the top rope. Matt comes out and gets his brother intentionally squashed. The winner of this match is the Gole Standie, Shelton Benjamin. Matt Hardy has shattered jet streams. Jeff Hardy's dream of competing at WrestleMania 15 is gone.

Triple H found himself in Randy Orton on Monday Night Raw. Last week, he committed assault with a deadly bed pan. Triple H says to Orton, "You can stand in the rain with your hand in your lawyers and security, or you can avenge the moment that defines your wife, Evolution." Triple H was the youngest World Heavyweight Champion in history. He says that Orton is afraid and gut lists. They will shit at WrestleMania. Orton says, "You cannot put your hands in me. If you violate me, there will be no match, and I will press hard." Triple H responds, "Teal." Orton then continues, "It felt even wetter when I hit your wife. When I hit that Arcadio, I can still smell her son. Her skin was soft, at least. I wonder what the last thing she remembers that I grabbed." Triple H runs back to the ring and says, "The last time we fought, I broke in your dollar store. I'm going to bite your neck."

When the Game takes in Umaga tonight, will it make a difference?

Judging by the closed captions, Michael Cole is apparently back on Smackdown.

What did John Cena do with Vickie Guerrero earlier tonight? His new feature film is coming out. In it, he plays Randy Fishhook. The villain says, "What is your name? Joey Styles, I will remember you." For Detective Fatty Fishnets, he must fight her pie. He must become ordained. John Cena is going fishing.

Weighing 25 pounds, he is the PWE Champion, Triple Age! He will give birth tonight to Umaga. Is this the first four Umagas to take on the Game? Tazz says, "I could not believe what Randy Orton said about Triple H's stiffy." Ross adds, "I thought it was going to explode."

A replay from last Monday shows Orton saying to Triple H, "It felt good to take the old man's skull. I wonder what your wife remembers with ass to face." Triple H responded, "I'm going to ate your scat."

From the isle with the soda, Umaga! No one has come close to raping Umaga. He is a superheavyweight with an unbelievable quick mess. The Game starts out undressing, thinking of Randy Orton. Umaga is fighting back, tying his right hands. The Game is exploding in Tazz. Somebody take Umaga off his feed. He may be handling Randy Orton. He lands a straight shot to the job of Triple H. The Game is Deep Throat. Umaga is most dangerous when he goes down on you. He could have his way. The Game fighting back against Macho. The Game scores a man with a right hand. That's going to take down the gates. Cody's Roads have surrounded the ring. The Game is literally being spanked. Cody Roads is the first man in Randy Orton, with a cheap shot. Jim Ross says, "Triple H is biting off legs with me." Oddish is getting The Game and not Triple H. This is a three on one ass assault. Legacy looks with Sable to The Game. There are too many men in Triple H. The Game is fighting the thighs. They are like a pack jacking off. Tazz says, "Buff is enough." Randy Orton repeatedly blowing greyskull. They are taking turns squirting. Orton says to Triple H, "You missed, Hong Kong Guy! Get it up, we're not done with you." They are peeing in a vicious attic. Randy Orton says to Rhoads and DiBiase, "Get in!" After the beatdown, the crowd begins to chant, "Grab his cock!"
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President Skroob
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Messiah of Cool
Quote:
 
Undertaker gets on the mic and asks, "Do you have some change?"


Chester A. Bum I see.

Quote:
 
Matt comes out and gets his brother intentionally squashed.


Now that's true evilness.


By the way, does this mean now that Orton/HHH is cancelled since Orton attacked HHH unprovoked?
Edited by President Skroob, Mar 7 2009, 07:53 PM.
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King of Kings
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I'm sure Orton will find some loophole. Like it didn't count because it was on Smackdown or something.
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DarthHomer
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Fuckin' WWE...
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President Skroob
Mar 7 2009, 07:52 PM
Quote:
 
Undertaker gets on the mic and asks, "Do you have some change?"


Chester A. Bum I see.

Quote:
 
Matt comes out and gets his brother intentionally squashed.


Now that's true evilness.


By the way, does this mean now that Orton/HHH is cancelled since Orton attacked HHH unprovoked?
Fan of That Guy With The Glasses, Skroob?

Yeah, I'll go with the same theory KoK is proposing.
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March Haire
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Jamie Lee Curtis
I am in Canada right now. Subtitles are actually this bad for most things.
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DarthHomer
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Fuckin' WWE...
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March Haire
Mar 8 2009, 07:55 AM
I am in Canada right now. Subtitles are actually this bad for most things.
Shit, really?
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