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| Raw Closed Captions; March 2nd | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 3 2009, 03:40 PM (255 Views) | |
| King of Kings | Mar 3 2009, 03:40 PM Post #1 |
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Randy Orton has put his behind on many doctors. Triple H says, "He put his hands on my lifeguard. Stephanie is the mother of Hilton. You've crossed a line, you can't back up." Orton suggests that they can solve the problem by feeling their legs and shaving. The Raw theme song contains the lyrics, "You get no Ric Flair, you better watch TN." We had 34 days away until the 25th anniversary of Raw Sell Mania. Tonight, Randy makes his WrestleMania incisions. Now, let's go to The Kid Jerry Lawler in the ring. Lawler says that there will be a World Middleweight Championship match tonight. The champion, Edged, will face the former John Cena. Cena is getting his rehash tonight. Please welcome your host of Piper's Pay, Grace Jericho! Jericho says that he wasn't planning on gooing today, but welcome to Piper's Pin. He was able to procure the miserable Rod Roddy Piper's set. This was a ground raking talkshow that featured many ground-based elements, but the most infamous was this one here. Jericho shows footage of Rocky Piper and Jimmy Snuck. In the footage, Piper says, "Banas and coconuts, you want to be the Big Show. I'm going to fuck you. Here you go, suck it, have my banana." Back live, Jericho introduces Super Fly Jimmy Smith To, who uses the song "Me Music". Here is WWE Hall of Famer Jimmie Snuck Up. Jericho says, "Go ahead and shit. Shit." He says that was a classic foot, for sure. It featured Rod Roddyu Piper. It began in the summer of 1884, and was squirted on by what happened to Piper on Piper's Pimp. Snuka was the High Flyer from the He She Islands. Jericho calls him a grim reaper. He says, "Forex the movie The Wrestler is all about you in your mid-70s." Snuka goes to independent presley shows all across New Jersey. He was in last year's Roy Rumble in his broken down craig. Jericho mentions Ricky Showboat. He says, "They don't have cable, they are going to end up like you. You don't like to unzip your fly. You are fishing, no one cares anymore." Snuka proclaims, "I wear underpants". Eddieville washes the Hall of Famers in the past. Jericho was told that old stool is cool. He asks, "You want to be a big shot, Superflat? Here's the pineapple, take these, just for me, reddened. Let's get a superfly for he wants. I have one more thing in the sky for you. You one of relieve your past." Snuka's theme music says that he is a super super guy. Jericho attacks Snuka, and yells at him "Come undo your fly, come on Snuka, unzip your fly!" He is busting a nut in the Hall of Famer. He continues, "Come on, Jimmy. Eat and wash up, Hall of Famer! Kaman, you want some more? Come on Legend, do it fast." That was a disgusting display by Unzip Your Fly Snuka. Jericho was lucky that Jimmy's super fly did not bauxiate coconut over his head. Jericho was whipping it out on a legend. He is occupied by his own data, absolutely sick. He was taking out his bells and whipping the Pipe Steam Hooker. John Cena knocked up The Big Show last Friday. We see the Memory Bank briefcase hanging over the ring. 8 men will compete for it at the 25th anniversary of Munn. "Booger 619" are lyrics in Rey Mysterio's theme. WrestleMania is an egg man for themselves. Mysterio punched the Tick on the way to WrestleMania. Apparently, Michael Cole will climb the ladder in that match. Introducing next, wave 219 pounds, M. Knox! The Big Rape Machine, Kane, makes his way to ringside next. This Saturday night will be the television premiere of See No Beatles. The Big Red Monster will be in action demoret. Rate Ministerial is going to be a huge underdog. The first man to get a pitfall or submission will win. Ray has problems with both men in the ass. Knox throws a rate headfirst. The two big men are knocking up the Big Red Monster. After a commercial break, we are back on Monty Night Brown for this Triple Test match. The man from San Diego, to Master All the 619, Ramus Stereo, feels the power of the backdrop on My Knox. The latter is a part of the Honey in the Tank match. Mike Knobs hits the big blue. Ed Ray has an excellent 2 1/2. Michael Cole announces his intentions to, and I quote, "wed Ray". The Big Red Monster and Mike Knox like to touch. My Knox is using Ray as a weapon. Now we see a position for the 69. Ray counters the Joke Slam like a scene from Saint-Saens, but Mike Knox takes race at hand all. We saw that nasty move last week that jerked Jamie Noble. Cole cries out, "Kane chokeslammed my cock. Good grief!" My Knox was about to put away Ray's muscles. The Big Red Monster will have a joint with CM Punk. He goes back to the ring and chokeslams Ramus Stereo. Taine is sadistic. Can you imagine if the Big Red Master whips at the Money Shaw Shank? Later tonight on Monday That Rall, HBK will go against Vladimir's Cousin. He will win her to be against the Undertaker at WrestleMania. We are celebrating 25 years of mature moments. WrestleMania 12, the site of 360 sackings, is profiled. The Iron Man featuring Harold, as well as the debut of Steve Hot Skin and Triple Egg, were all at WrestleMania 12. It is the legendary 60 man, 60 minute Iron Man match. One singular goal is to be checked in. The champion was Best Threat That Hitman Hart. He was the Bret Pound Champion. Shockingly, there were no balls. The sudden death heartbreak table would finalize. The boyhood dream came true for maitre d. Wrestling while making out is serious business. Backstage, we get an interview with Shawn Michaels, who says that Kozlov gave him a loveseat chokeslam. He has had lined WrestleMania. He has stolen short bread every time. Tonight, he will end Kozlov's whitey streak. Onto Russo, where he ends the Undertaker's. These are computer awards from the Heartbreak Kids. The following is a dream tag team match. Introducing first, Amici James! Introducing her tag team partner, Kelli Galli! They face The Phoenix and Gobbeldy Hall, and they hatch next. After a commercial break, Molina and Metis are at ringside doing commentary. Kelly Kelly is taking it to Bet Phoenix. Maryse says, "Melina Hubie at Phoenix after 2 years of trying, but it would take me 5 minutes to be in her." Melina responds, "I heard after 5 minutes of beating a guy, you do your taxes." Michael Cole confesses to looking at 365 Divas today. Maryse is asked if she does photos with it all off. She says, "I cannot go to the airport without sucking me." Molina is a two-time Women's champion. Melina is asked if she'd ever go out with Jillian. Watcher fly. Have you seen her ass? Molina is going to get some balls too. Maryse pantses on her face. The last couple of weeks have involved Triple Agent Randy Orton. Triple H claims, "He hid behind doctors and laid my wife. Stephanie is the mother of my chibi. You have crossed Date Line." Orton says, "There is three of bus. One of you howled loose the sledgehammer. Loosen men, we will deal with this. As Orton is chased by Triple H, he yells, "Holden, Holden, oh yes!" The words "I am Vice President" indicate the entrance of Randy Orton. He is fagged by Legacy. He won Roy's Rumble in January. What chance will he face at WrestleMania? Lawler thinks the security have arms. Who will Jason face at WrestleMania? After a comemrcial, you were back live on Mondate Night Raw. Orton says he is entitled to Edge's girl John. He says, "Tonight, I am pressing hard against Triple H. He commited ass assault with a deadly woman. I put my hummer down. I wanted to handle him like a grown man. He took a concealed hammer and used it in Ted DiBiase and Cody Roads, and that he had gotten to me, he could've put it in my rear. It is time to make some music." Triple H's music hits, and we are told that if you ask for a whore, you might just get it. Triple H says, "Your doctors say you have a penis, just like me. I am in complete control of mimes." Jerry Lawler once again reminds us that the security guards have arms. Orton says he attacked an innocent nun. Triple H suggests, "Go to WrestleMania and beat meat for the WWE Championship." He tells Orton that the night after he won the World Heavyweight Championship, he burped on him. It was an aw shucks decision, and he took what was his. He continues, "It's because you're a fridge. You can hang tight with your lawyers. You put the same evil lotion caring for my bag." Orton has all the lint in the world. Just before Triple H is taken away by security, Orton tells them to get out of his ass. Orton says, "We settle this ad at WrestleMania. I'll touch you, you touch me, and we'll spend WrestleMania in a bar. Teal?" Triple H responds, "Meal." Orton continues on, "It felt great when I take the power of greyskull, when I did the same thing to shade. But Hunter, when I hit that Arcadio on your wife, I play with myself over and over. I can still smell her pants off. Least that is what I remember, Aurelien. I wonder what your life remembers." Triple H responds, "The last time you a knife on in this rain, I broke your collarbone. That was a business. I will bite your dick!" Shawn Michaels will take on Vladimir Caused Lava, with the winning hatch facing Undertaker at WrestleMania. Welcome back to the longest sodomy show in history. The legendary Chick Michaels enters first. Last year, he retired the legendary Ric Flyer. He wants to eat the steak of the Undertaker. The opening of Kozlov's theme states, "Broccoli is good for my bum." Who will face the legendary She Mom, The Undertaker? In regards to Kozlov's match with the Undertaker last week, Michael Cole says, "As I sat and washed, I knew Undertaker would prevail." Undertaker was about to vote school when Kozlov defeated him. Shawn Michaels is taking on Flat Tire Kozlov. That's why he's named Mr. Russell Mania. He's going for the Figure Ford. Kozlov reverses the pole quickly. The winner will bake the Undertaker at WrestleMania. You don't want to be in the ring of Kozlov. He's pretty much masturbated Sean Michaels this entire match. That was almost the same kind of slam that baited the fishing Undertaker. He undefeated his nuts by a smart man. Michaels talked about playing WrestleMania with a broken hack. According to Jerry Lawler, everything about Kozlov undresses. Shawn Michaels always gives it everything for Tazz. Shawn Michaels is going for the flying foreart thou. Kozlov caught him in midair and gave him vicious head on his butt. Kozlov has to be careful that he is not 5. Kozlov is going to drive on the top rope. Shawn Michaels - candy apple eyes? Kozlov is unaware of what is coming to his wife. Right on the butt of Kozlov, he is no longer defeated. Does Shawn Michaels have special boughts? Will his name be the 17th additive to the victims of the Undertaker at WrestleMania? Aussie the Dragon Steamboat will be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. The WrestleMania theme contains the lyrics, "Shoot Bill. Shoot you, Bill." Back from a commercial, Michael Cole says, "Boston suffering the brunt of my spinning storm." We are given a look at John Cena's new feature film, Hall Grounds. Let's take a look at who is donning fishnets. The villain in the movie tells Cena that he is taking Manu. Cena's character is told "You must fight, or she'll be a guy." John Cena is Danny's bitch. The WWE Hall of Liposuction will include Cowboy Feel Once. You have to whip his wet pants. He battled Summertime before capacity crowds. He owned and operated Miz Town Championship Wrestling. He would later serve as a top executor for both WWE and WCW. A fiery personality is proud to welcome Cowboy Walsh. Jim Ross will auction him at the Hall of Fame ceremony. In a backstage promo, Edge says of Cena, "I wanted his friends and family to squash him. The bitch is mine, and I'm telling him the same thing." During the recap for Cena/Big Show from Smackdown, the name "Rey Mysterio" pops up on screen for no reason, and remains there for most of the recap. Finally, the closed captions come back to life. They state that Donney Denny is going to finish off John Cena with Downard from the Chokes on C-Note's monumental rectum. This will be a Championship Match Year on Monday Night Raw. Give John Cena his rematch against Edged. Last Friday Night, on Friday Nights Matt, they beat John Cena's hot side. The cry of "Pull my bull" indicates the entrance of John Cena. The lyrics continue, "Your timing sucks, to tie me down." Don't See Much is here. He faces the Rip A Fart Superstar and World Champion, Edge! Michael Cole is anticipating this jockless match. Edge gets it in Cena tonight. The winner of this match will get the WrestleMania hanky. Lawler says, "I try to put myself in Edge." The girl hangs in the rain for Edge. Back from a commercial break, he are told that we aren't alive on Monday Night Raw. Lashley has targetted surgically rednecked John Cena in the early going of this matchup. He is the World Champion Quicky. Back in vantage this past Friday Night was John Cena. He is the bacon and toast for the fans. Cole says, "He's going to leave me svensden." Kristal and John Cena's father are his family. We keep talking about the Nokia low by Big Shaw. Let's not forget the Jokes Lamba suffered as well. John Cena haskin it up into a New Year. He is unloading in World Champion Edge. Setting up the Five Knuckle Shuffle, Cena says, "You can't see Miz!" John Cena goes for the Attic Adjuster. Etch, the champion, turns the tables. There is a reason why Edge is the eighty time champion. With towners like that, Edge is measuring John's penis. Now, John Cena with a cunt of his own. The champion takes out at two. Cena manages to get his shoulder off. This is frustrating to the champion Edged. Can U beat this guy, Kenedy Johnson? Will Edge submission to take this championship, or manage for John Cena? Cena crashes to the floor as his head housed off the mat. Cena gets take out, and whizzes outside the ring. The World Agway Champion is on the line. Cena hits the guilty teen off the top rope. Cena goes for the Attitude Justin again. Edge counters with his sharp pooper. John Cena's only prayer is to somehow lose weight to the pro. Cena forces Edge to break the hole button. Cena is writing in pain. Edge sets Cena up for the Speedier Spear. Cena counters with an SCF. Edge is trying to plot drag himself to the bottom row. Edge saves himself, and then connects with the Speaear. Lawler says, "But I ganged John Cena out of nowhere." It is easy for Edge to take his championship and go blow. Your winner, as a result of desk-quality cages, John Cena! How adverse to a World In Which Had Been Edge. John Cena-San was trying to get the belt out of the fled. Edge smashed Jethro Tull with the belt. He retains his World Agway Championship. We are randomly told that Guns N Roses do Cena's theme. Vickie says, "Edge is the World Champion at my 25th anniversary." The Big Show is the new well-done contender. John Cena and his aunt both cannot believe that he lost at all here tonight. John Cena may not be going to Resume. |
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| #LJB | Mar 3 2009, 03:54 PM Post #2 |
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We The People
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| President Skroob | Mar 3 2009, 09:26 PM Post #3 |
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Messiah of Cool
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Biden got RKO'd~
Sounds like one of those Shakespeare quotes.
Does one even need to comment? Edited by President Skroob, Mar 3 2009, 09:28 PM.
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