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Post Of The Day; Any post that made you cream yourself
Topic Started: Mar 6 2007, 07:03 AM (14,041 Views)
Cowards
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BOW BEFORE HIM
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
JimmyJackJericho
Aug 2 2007, 01:59 AM
Don't forget, Scherer is morbidly obese.

Because only thin people tell the truth.
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President Skroob
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Messiah of Cool
+Donald $. Carlos+
Aug 2 2007, 03:53 PM
As the fans & admirers in attendence begin to quiet down over the previous chain of events they've just witnessed, all the lights within the arena-like forum begin to flicker back and forth between white hot & green colored beams.  This immediately brings those same people jumping back to their collective feet, where they are then bathed in complete & total darkness without a moments notice . . .

"As we proceed, to give you what you need . . ."

Biggie Smalls' "Who Shot Ya'" rings over the figurative sound system, which sets off a thick cloud of smoke that then rises up above the entrance opening.  After several tension-filled seconds, an ominous figure appears from within the smog, and stands his ground near center stage; a microphone in one hand, and a slowly burning joint in the other . . .

"Who shot ya . . ."

As the beat kicks in, the figure steps forward to reveal himself to the throng of supporters, and leans his head back in order to inhale the electricity being emitted from them.  He then takes a fat rip off the end of the joint, exhales the smoke overhead, and makes himself comforatable along the edge of the stage as the music dies down . . .

Ladies & gentlemen, I cannot stress how great it feels to be back . . . right here, at A-W-T!

Carlos takes in the reaction from the cheap pop, takes another toke from his "j", and exhales the smoke before picking up where he left off . . .

This fucking machine will be the death of +Donald $. Carlos+, I swear . . . but fret not my loyal compatriots, for I am back; bigger, badder, and better than ever.  Fucking believe it!

In all seriousness, of course, it is great to be back.  I had to deal with another unplanned absence, thanks to this God forsaken laptop, and I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things with this post.

A lot can happen in the span of less than 2 months, though, huh?

:(

Anyone care to fill me in on what has happened (besides the tragically obvious)?

Looks like we'll never get that Punk/Benoit dream match.  Here's hoping for the only saving grace left, in Punk/Mysterio . . .



Take notes gentlemen. That's how you make an effective return.
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DarthHomer
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Fuckin' WWE...
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Taken from the thread about the Minneapolis Bridge Collapse:

"DEE-Mo"
 
I'm guessing is the irony of trading Kevin Garnett to Boston Celtics that made the bridge collapse.
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DarthHomer
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Fuckin' WWE...
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
This was a good one from the "Jeff Hardy messes up again" thread. Unfortunately, I can't get the fucking quotes working, so I guess I'll have to make do with no quotes:

Bill Covington:
UPDATE:

From Wrestling Observer:

The latest word from the WWE camp is that some kid's mouth is stuck to Jeff Hardy's cock. These rumors have not been confirmed or denied by Jeff, but Matt says:
"Yeah, young boys be suckin' my brother's cock all the time".
We then tried to get Jeff's mom to answer several questions regarding his childhood, and she responded by saying:
"I can't talk now, I'm filming a boy suck my son Jeff's cock".

Man, this IS another wicked Jeff Hardy moment.


Mattwwf15:
user posted image
You are a sad strange little man, and you have my pity...


President Skroob:
Careful.

You don't want to get on the bad side of a man who can kick the shit out of cancer.
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Dark-Messenger
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That Gut Feeling
[ *  *  *  * ]
JJJ
 
The bigger news is phasing out the X Title. If it actually happens, we can all indulge in lulz as internet fags mourn the Vanilla Midgets losing tv time.
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Adzer
Midcarder
[ *  *  * ]
What grinds OfLegend's gears, fantastic post


Quote:
 
Nine Inch Nails fans who are convinced that Trent Reznor is some sort of higher being. I don't even particularly dislike NIN, but fuck, if you're going to worship someone, worship me. And don't justify it to me by saying "Rez likes Leonard Cohen." Hilter liked Beethoven, okay? He wasn't exactly a swell guy or a musical genius. Basically stop basing your fucking opinions of everything off what you listen to, or rather WHAT OTHER PEOPLE LISTEN TO and have only TOLD YOU it's "cool".

The way when someone dies, the MySpaces of everyone who was ever acquainted with them fill up with tributes and sobby hypocritical bullshit about how they'll live forever in our hearts. For example, an acquaintance of mine was killed a year ago yesterday, and you should have seen some of the fucking bulletins. Not just when it happened, but this week. "A year on an it still dunt make sense. RIP my best frend." Jesus Fuck, the complete spastics whom have managed to slither into and inhabit my life make me pray for nuclear holocaust.

That reminds me: MySpace bulletins. Allow me to give you an insight into some of the shit my eyes would be subjected to on a daily basis if I gave enough of a squirrel's fuck to read some of these anomalies in human consciousness:

"I need something to do. Absolutely nothing fun around here."

"Yar. Nothing to do. Again."

"Sound im sorted for leeds fest =D
So now i can get excited for it!
=D
*does excited dance*
so whos goin?"

"Pleeeeease.
I need something to do. chat anyone? i know i always ask. but when i reply to buletins no one speaks to me!
i know im lame but a reply once in a while would be nice!
someone talk! *does puppy dog eyes really badly*
=]"

"so. damn bored. any suggestions?"

"I need someone to talk to. I need a clear mind before I go through with this decision tomorrow."

All of these are the output of two individuals who are amongst the most annoying for this inane practice. It's like a black hole opened in these people's brains as soon as they discovered networking sites. Any suggestions? Yeah, read a book. Get out of the house. Walk to the park. Discover what's around you. Bonus points if you manage not to take pictures and write about it on your fucking Live Journals or whatever the fuck other blogs you people unload your vacuous lives onto.

MySpace in general. Fuck it all.

Bono. You've got more money than me. Stop whining that I've got a dinner table when Africans are starving and donate your fucking private jet to them. That goes for Geldof too: he's made a good start by giving up shampoo and haircuts, but if he gave his yearly drug budget to Oxfam then the balance would be restored. That reminds me, just because you're an ex-rock star does not mean that you have to give up personal hygiene. Take note all you fucking "punk" fans who feel it's a betrayal of your "punk" lifestyles to take a bath or wash the saliva out of your hair once in a while. Allow me to give you a little history lesson: punk died when it didn't kill metal or prog. MISSION FAILED, ASSHOLES. And the proof is on MTV right now. Good Charlotte, Green Day, Avril Lavigne, all labelling themselves as punk. Who won the war now, you sweaty cunts? Go fuck your skateboards.

Nathan Versus and his constant chubby for Vince McMahon's money.

Anti-smark logic that if WWE decides to do something, then it's automatically good for business and ultimately for us, as if WWE is the benevolent body in the entertainment sector today and cannot be faulted by anyone who has a "business brain." Sorry to people who enjoy good wrestling but it's all shit compared to Zach Gowen being pushed or Hornswoggle having a title reign, apparently.

Cowards.

Reality TV, especially Big Brother. Reality is not being brain damaged and trapped in a house with suntanned zombies, stereotypical homosexuals and stubbly metrosexual fuckbaskets who haven't exercised a braincell since they discovered masturbation and hairgel at the same time. Stop watching it, you're feeding the tabloid generation.

The tabloids, especially The Sun, which is about as enlightening as a head dive onto concrete and probably more damaging. Especially because it spawns... things like Piers "Morgan" Moron, a man beloved by the kind of fucktards who think they're going against the grain by preferring him to Simon Cowell but in fact is only relevent by being pwnd repeatedly by his former stalk victim Ian Hislop.

Jeremy Kyle's ridiculous argumentative techniques, his audience full of trained seals and his fans who try and start debates with me because I used to watch Kilroy when I was ill.

The film Forrest Gump, and how it was acclaimed as being heartfelt and important, when in fact it was a sentimental stack of partonising prosaic bullshit infested with embarrassing performances and a tearfully bad script. Even worse, the people who cried while watching it, surely the most confused, emotionally shallow specimins of humanity walking the Earth. The fact this won the Best Picture Oscar in '94 unfortunately vindicates how awful the Academy is. I say unfortunately because it will no doubt recruit more mindless fucktards to living out their "anti-authority" fantasies of themselves by going totally with the majority and proclaiming the Oscars to be "passed it" and "meaningless." Get your own fucking opinions.

The "lol were pretending to be gay, come closer my love" mental illness that has infected the already vulnerable minds of AWT users, sweeping up young, innocent children like Andy in its wake. Far too vulgar too be funny, and sadly it seems subtlety cannot be taught.

Joker.

The overuse of the word "Nazi" as an insult on the internet, and conversely the sad fucks who invoke "Godwin's Law" as if it is the pinnacle of wit.

Extensions of internet abbreviations such as lol, omg etc. into sarcasm or mockery by people who just aren't funny.

Ringtones. The only thing worse than a chart ringtone is, and I shit you not, ringtones of internet memes. For instance, the theme tune to the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny or whatever that little cartoon was called that was funny for the first five minutes it showed up on NewGrounds.

Jeff Buckley, and his popular slaughtering of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah.

The campaign to get David Beckham back in the England squad after he set up a goal for Real Madrid against some midtable side. Frank Lampard had been better all season and practically the same week set up the winning goal in the FA Cup final and we don't hear the slightest whimper in favour of him, yet Beckham pulls on a pair of boots and it's all over the fucking English papers. Furthermore, the fucker signed for LA Galaxy, a shit team in a shit league. The best player in that league a season or two ago is now cleaning the reserves dressing room in Craven Cottage, but it's apparently trying to be taken seriously by offering extravagant contracts to saggy over-the-hill pissflaps like Beckham, and therefore it's okay for Beckham to play there and be in the England squad. Logic is not the strongpoint of the majority of football fans in England, but of course if we had needed any more proof a year ago we only had to look at the campaign for McLaren to be England manager.

Fat Frank Lampard.

Christian fundamentalism. Any sort of fundamentalism is bad, but these people are living in a fucking dream world.

The argument that creationism should be taught in schools alongside evolution because evolution is "just" a theory. A theory is about as good as it gets in science: it's better than facts, hypotheses or even laws. And yet evolution just isn't good enough and certainly isn't better than creationism, which isn't a theory, nor is it even a fact, hypothesis or law. Creationism is nothing, a fantasy dreamt up by ignorant, plagurising control freaks two centuries ago.

Insistence that controlling global warming should be our number one priority when there are millions of people dying of AIDS all over the world who could be saved with far lesss expenditure, whereas the entire set of regulations outlined by the Kyoto protocols would only delay global warming by about five years and would cost billions upon billions for the sake of a few thousand people dying of heat exhaustion, which would almost be cancelled out anyway by the thousands of people surviving by not freezing to death in the winters like they do now.

The fact I've wasted 35 minutes writing this.
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President Skroob
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Messiah of Cool
DEE-Mo
Aug 8 2007, 02:23 PM
I believe that a war is a force for good. After what the terrorists did on 9/11, we needed to get back at the terrorists. George W. Bush might be one of the worst President of all time, but with him controlling the War in Iraq and have our soldiers fight, I believe he's doing a great job. . The problem with the Iraq War, is that the fuckers in the Senate, wants the end the war, because of our troops dying in the war. I'm pissed that they are attempting to end the war because of this. They are wasting their breath on attempting on something important that's not gonna end until we declare victory. Our soldiers, (including my older brother that's in Iraq), are fighting for our freedom and they chose to do that with honor. All the people in the Senate wants to do is bitch that our troops are dying, saying that Bush is a bad President, and Harry Reid saying that the war is lost. Bush doesn't give a fuck about them, because he believes in doing the right thing. And when this war is over and we win, the Senate will make themselves look really pathetic.

And that's why I believe that war is a force for good. If you didn't like my opinion, fuck off.


My vote for Quote of the Month...nah...Quote of the Year.
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Deleted User
Deleted User

NathanVersus' line in the M&Ms vs. Skittles thread:

Quote:
 
M&M’s are the candy equivalent of AiDS.


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Wassuppmann786
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Awesome
[ *  *  * ]
President Skroob
Aug 9 2007, 01:51 AM
DEE-Mo
Aug 8 2007, 02:23 PM
I believe that a war is a force for good. After what the terrorists did on 9/11, we needed to get back at the terrorists. George W. Bush might be one of the worst President of all time, but with him controlling the War in Iraq and have our soldiers fight, I believe he's doing a great job. . The problem with the Iraq War, is that the fuckers in the Senate, wants the end the war, because of our troops dying in the war. I'm pissed that they are attempting to end the war because of this. They are wasting their breath on attempting on something important that's not gonna end until we declare victory. Our soldiers, (including my older brother that's in Iraq), are fighting for our freedom and they chose to do that with honor. All the people in the Senate wants to do is bitch that our troops are dying, saying that Bush is a bad President, and Harry Reid saying that the war is lost. Bush doesn't give a fuck about them, because he believes in doing the right thing. And when this war is over and we win, the Senate will make themselves look really pathetic.

And that's why I believe that war is a force for good. If you didn't like my opinion, fuck off.


My vote for Quote of the Month...nah...Quote of the Year.

Sarcasm? Please?
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President Skroob
Member Avatar
Messiah of Cool
Wassuppmann786
Aug 9 2007, 12:46 AM
President Skroob
Aug 9 2007, 01:51 AM
DEE-Mo
Aug 8 2007, 02:23 PM
I believe that a war is a force for good. After what the terrorists did on 9/11, we needed to get back at the terrorists. George W. Bush might be one of the worst President of all time, but with him controlling the War in Iraq and have our soldiers fight, I believe he's doing a great job. . The problem with the Iraq War, is that the fuckers in the Senate, wants the end the war, because of our troops dying in the war. I'm pissed that they are attempting to end the war because of this. They are wasting their breath on attempting on something important that's not gonna end until we declare victory. Our soldiers, (including my older brother that's in Iraq), are fighting for our freedom and they chose to do that with honor. All the people in the Senate wants to do is bitch that our troops are dying, saying that Bush is a bad President, and Harry Reid saying that the war is lost. Bush doesn't give a fuck about them, because he believes in doing the right thing. And when this war is over and we win, the Senate will make themselves look really pathetic.

And that's why I believe that war is a force for good. If you didn't like my opinion, fuck off.


My vote for Quote of the Month...nah...Quote of the Year.

Sarcasm? Please?

Go with what your heart says.
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DarthHomer
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Fuckin' WWE...
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Todays Raw live thread was made of fucking win. Examples of such are:

NextLevel: Ron Simmons now has an undefeated streak in WWE game shows.
You wouldn't believe how envious the Undertaker is.

Marchhaire: (TDizzle21(MVP is the Man)
WOW that inside cradle looked really weak)

After making a condom joke, Cody wins a match with a small package. Nothing weak about that.

SamuraiFoochs: (QUOTE = NextLevel
Vince may be suing Trojan...



...but he can always rely on Cena brand condoms!)

Making sure your Marines shoot blanks since 2007.
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DarthHomer
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Fuckin' WWE...
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Hardcore's reply to Joker watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show in the "What Have You Been Watching Thread" was gold.

Quote:
 
OMG!!!!!!!

Joker, all is forgiven.

Now it's just a jump to the left.
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President Skroob
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Messiah of Cool
MutantCouch
Aug 20 2007, 08:48 PM
Cowards
Aug 20 2007, 09:45 PM
MutantCouch
Aug 21 2007, 02:43 AM
Cowards
Aug 20 2007, 09:41 PM
Raw is made ultimate with a musical accompanyment of Derek and the Dominoes.

Until you realize they will put Layla El in a match just to play the song.

I've no idea who Layla El is. However, in order to not made redundant posts:

lol ur a gerl!

Last diva search winner.

Oh and lol you have the mammaries of a girl.


Another day. Another pwning of Cowards.
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Mutant Couch
Man-Bat Groupie
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Stinger Splash
Aug 20 2007, 11:06 PM
You really do live in Ohio.

Even though it was a burn on me and the person responsible finds blue and yellow to be attractive colors, I will admit that it was a good one.
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hardcorecruiserweight
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AWT's MDB
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Bruce Campbell Warns Raimi About Tricksy Hobbits
Direct smart, Campbell says.
by Fred Topel | August 21, 2007
Blog Article | Discuss Article
Bruce Campbell knows he's always got a role in a Sam Raimi movie, but if the director indeed takes on The Hobbit for New Line, longtime friend Campbell has some words of warning.

"Well, I hope they pay Sam his overages like they didn't pay Peter Jackson," Campbell said. "Hey, if they ain't paying Peter Jackson overages, I'd be very afraid, but that's me."

Campbell seemed surprised to hear the news that Raimi was in the running. He hadn't heard that even New Line head Bob Shaye is after him. He did have some thoughts on Shaye though. "Bob Shaye-dy? New Lies Cinema? Yeah, these are the guys who distributed the first Evil Dead, don't forget. So, you know, enough said there."

Were all the politics to be worked out, Campbell did consider a Hobbit cameo as "hopefully someone that torments the hobbit. Hopefully someone who's not the hobbit."


Here's the POTD
Quote:
 
hopefully someone that torments the hobbit. Hopefully someone who's not the hobbit
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DarthHomer
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Fuckin' WWE...
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
In this weeks Smackdown Spoilers thread, Hardcore brought up how Kane is Paul Bearers son, this being confirmed in 1998. Born2beskinny replied with the following:

Quote:
 
Well, your not supposed to remember that far back. Us WWE fans only have a memory of about 2-3 months.


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DarthHomer
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Fuckin' WWE...
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
JJJ's response in Pat's thread about Busts (not breasts) was hilarious:

Quote:
 
I find it a constant source of joy to see Pat mature before our very eyes.

It offsets the disappointment of Cowards degeneration into retardation.
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DarthHomer
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Fuckin' WWE...
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Andy had a great story about his experience watching Summerslam, but this one line is just awesome:

Quote:
 
As soon as the bell rang, people left. Boy, they were really mad. I laughed at them. Some guy said to me "Laugh again and I'll come over there and beat the shit out of you." I laughed. He tried to get to me but guys were holding him back. He walked up and I yelled, "Cena via FU, CUNT!"
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Don Carlos
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Slick Dick Dingo
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Pat Hollywood - Aug 28 2007
03:47 PM
Wow, people freaking out due to all of this....

I don't even care about Owen Wilson honestly.

PWNED . . .
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Andy
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Main Event~!
[ *  *  *  *  * ]
Pat Hollywood
Aug 30 2007, 07:18 PM
I can see it now. They are in Afganistan again. In the ring wrestling are Ric Flair vs. Randy Orton another Legend vs. Legend Killer match. And outta nowhere you here Muhammad Hassan's music

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQweDQx-bIU...related&search=

and out comes Osama bin Laden on a camel. Then he jumps off the camel and storms the ring and then pummels Flair and Orton. He gets a base mic and shouts jibberish, causing the unarmed troops to be pissed off. More crap. Crap. Crap. Then,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJlhnlcjFb4

Here comes the Hulkster! Osama stays in the ring. He tries to punch but Hulk Hulks Up and comes back, then throwing him to the ropes for the Big Boot. He then rips off his shirt showing off his snakey, leathery, tanned skin. After that he starts to taunt to the fans. Osama tries to get up but realizes that now he is in deep shit....

Here comes HOGAN! LEG DROP.

Then the authorities take Osama away.
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