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Somethings you can't see until it's too late; Ren
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Topic Started: Jan 3 2011, 05:53 PM (140 Views)
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Meissa Malfoy
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Jan 3 2011, 05:53 PM
Post #1
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Fourth Year
- Posts:
- 85
- Group:
- Raven Prefect
- Member
- #119
- Joined:
- 1 November 2010
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As each day towards the end of the year grew closer, the tight feeling in Meissa's chest continued to flourish. She needed to do well on exams. No, she needed to do well on absolutely everything. One slip up felt like the end of her world and she was nowhere near ready to die just yet. She should have been easier on herself. She had a one up on the majority of students now cramming for exams, mostly because she was not cramming per say. Meissa was the type who did her assignments the night they were given and studied until her eyes were too tired to distinguish the end of one word from the beginning of another. Yet, even with all the past time spent looming over books she intended to live off of coffee and lesson notes for the next few weeks. At least until exams were over. Like today for example. Despite how much she loathed trying to sort through the masses of people in either the study hall or library, she hated the commotion in the common room even more. Apparently the Raven tower had taken it upon themselves to scatter in large groups all throughout the normally rather empty room. And there was no way in hell she intended to spend any unnecessary time in her dormitory. Not when she had dumb and dumber for roommates. Half the time she debated going as far as to sleep in Lyra's room, because merlin knew that bed was as used as her chastity belt.
So she sucked it up, gathered her books, and headed down to the second floor. Meissa turned down the corridor leading to the study hall rather than the library. It was likely noisier but it had more table room. Before fully entering through the opened door, the Raven fell motionless in the archway. Tables. Every single table had at least one occupant. Fantastic. If this hall had managed to fill up then there was hardly any use in checking the library. Meissa's brows knit together in examination as she did another, more careful, sweep of the room. After passing over a familiar head of unmistakable auburn hair, her eyes trickled backwards. Ren. A girl she used to be relative companions with because of their mutual friends. At least until Patronus. Since then, she had pretty much fallen off the young Malfoy's radar. The question this left her with was simple, friend or foe? No doubt she was an intelligent girl herself, the sort who put studies up front above other nonessentials. That was a checkmark in the approach category. Okay. Well sitting with her had to turn out better than dabbling in the company of a group of Hufflepuff more concerned for their friends' studies than their own. Feet visually less hesitant than her mind, Meissa strolled up to the table. "Ren. Long time no see." The greeting was teetering on a line between cordial and confused. "Do you care if I sit here?"
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.. Profile.. pr. (MAY-suh)..Fifteen..Raven..Fifth Year Prefect..Taken..
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Ren Fendigaidd
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Jan 3 2011, 07:31 PM
Post #2
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Fifth Year
- Posts:
- 36
- Group:
- Raven
- Member
- #59
- Joined:
- 30 October 2009
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All Ren wanted to do was to stop feeling dreadful, and moreover, to stop feeling sorry for herself. Fendigaidds did not feel sorry for themselves. They made mistakes, they acknowledged their mistakes, and they moved actively to fix their mistakes. Done. Perfect. Ren had lived for years like that, seeing her failures as opportunities for improvement rather than for angst, and rarely dwelled for more than a moment on any emotional backlash. Only how could she do that when the mistake had been letting her brother go to his death, and she was the only one who knew? She couldn't even take pleasure in being reviled for it. It was her secret and it burned in her like acid. Isis might have known, being the one to tell Ren to stay away from the school, but the thought of talking to her about Rhodri made Ren's fingers clench into claws. All she could do now was nurse her guilt in silence, and try to find herself again. So far, the best way to do that was studying. Improving herself had always been one of her most important goals. She wasn't at the top of her class and a Prefect by any accident. So, with exams approaching, she was crouched over a desk in the study hall, working steadily on recopying her notes for memorization right on through the low buzz around her. Her hair was frizzy, her eyes were hollow, and her fingers were inkstained from spending the last four days straight like this. The self-filling coffee mug next to her was on its fifth fill of the day. Yet she had hardly moved except to switch books or paid attention to her surroundings until footsteps were right at the edge of her table and a close, familiar voice made her stiffen and shoot back in her seat. The quill dropped from her slack hand.
"Ren. Long time no see." Meissa. On the surface she relaxed and settled back into her chair, though the hand at her side was gripping the edge of the seat tightly. It could have been a much worse intruder, but then it could have been better, Leo or Richard or even Ferdinand. Everyone knew that while Ren was Isis' best friend, or had been, Meissa was her little sister, much more than she was Lyra's. Something in her had always gained some sympathy from Ren, but now that she had cut herself off from that world, she was uncertain how mini-Isis would react. Indeed, Meissa's smile seemed ambivalent, or perhaps Ren was injecting her own confusion into the expression. There was a kind of indecisiveness to her slightly raised eyebrows and wobbly smirk as she said, "Hello, Mei. I suppose it has been." The nickname flowed easily, Ren had always been quick to claim familiarity even when her guard was up, but she wasn't sure if Meissa would think her proper to claim it. Did she hate her like no doubt Isis did? Ren's stomach was constantly unsettled over thinking about how her close friends saw her now. She'd had to leave them, had to escape the darkness, but that didn't mean she didn't miss them, no matter how little she cared for other people. "Do you care if I sit here? Had she been staring? Blinking, she shook her head and let the smirk melt into a half-smile. "No, of course not. I could use the company. I have a feeling I've become immune to caffeine and I won't forgive myself for wasting half a day's studying on an accidental nap." It felt so familiar and comfortable talking with Meissa, sharing their common love of school, half-smiling in that subtle way she had, but at the same time she knew it shouldn't. She had left them all. She was the self-titled outcast, in a limbo of her own making, unsure where she belonged anymore. But it was hard to stop old habits.
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 Broken . Cold as Ice . Isolated . Profile . Raven . Sixth Year . Sixteen
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Meissa Malfoy
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Jan 8 2011, 05:56 PM
Post #3
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Fourth Year
- Posts:
- 85
- Group:
- Raven Prefect
- Member
- #119
- Joined:
- 1 November 2010
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In the back of her mind, Meissa knew about the people who had lost loved ones in the attack on Hogwarts, or at least those with names she associated. Kaleb's loss she felt particularly bad for, as she spent the majority of her time with the boy these days. Ren, well, in that same strange way the young Malfoy felt bad for her as well. The feeling wasn't guilt persay, she could not feel guilty when her own wand had not caused a single ounce of damage. Being a girl who questioned emotions around every corner, she failed to place the exact feeling that churned currently in the pits of her stomach. Regret? Not particularly. Pity? Closer, maybe the closest she would come. For there were people who the attack took with purpose and then there were the accidental, yet unavoidable, casulties lost along the way. Pure blood had painted the halls of Hogwarts in the name of the greater picture. Looking at Ren now, Meissa's mind wrapped around what it would be like to lose a sibling. She only had Lyra and truthfully she had somewhat lost the girl years before to the arms of her precious little Perseus. But even then, there was always the chance to reestablish their sisterhood, the life in her body still present. Would the conversation steer that way? Meissa could only hope not. Ren wasn't what one called an open book, the glue holding her pages shut seeming particularly strong now that she had cut ties with her former group of friends. So she tested the waters, sticking only her big toe in as she offered a small greeting. She got the same calibur of responce, timed and monitored if not a bit surprised. "Hello, Mei. I suppose it has been."
She nodded in a small gesture, keeping the nicities to a minumum before she could acess the situation. Truly the Raven didn't have a concrete problem with her housemate, not until she was given reason at least. Hoping to accomplish her original goal of finding a place to crack down on her studying, she offered a few more words. "No, of course not. I could use the company. I have a feeling I've become immune to caffeine and I won't forgive myself for wasting half a day's studying on an accidental nap." Nodding for a second time, she pulled out the chair situated directly across from the older girl. In a quiet thud she set down a thick stack of textbooks, releasing her bag onto the floor. Placing herself down in one fluid motion, her eyes pulled upwards to meet her new company's gaze. "I'll keep you awake if you extend me the same courtesy." The words were said with a hint of jest though the hesitancy lingered in the corners. Reaching down Meissa pulled a neat stack of parchment out of her bag, slipping the soft sheets onto the table. Opening her textbook, she began to meticulously write important thoughts as she came across them. Yet curiosity tugged even as she dipped her quill in the deep vat of black ink for a second round of notes. "So, I assume you've been keeping busy?" Grey eyes peeked up from the top of her lids, only searching the situation for a few moments before they returned to their proper place. If worse came to worse, Meissa knew where her allegiance lay. In her sister figure, in the shadows, in the dark force. Ren likely knew this too, which is why she would understand the somewhat leading questions and statements. Her curiosity was mellowed, but still there. "When I said it's been a long time, it really has been." She was a girl who prided herself in intelligence, in and out of the classroom. Occassionally that intelligence came out in a need to know the happenings around her, to be up to date on nearly everything. Ren wasn't the exception, far from it.
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.. Profile.. pr. (MAY-suh)..Fifteen..Raven..Fifth Year Prefect..Taken..
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