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Somethings are too complicated for words; George's 'giiirl' :D
Topic Started: Nov 27 2010, 11:21 AM (560 Views)
George Lowden
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{Set after the Dementor Attack}

She had been the only who had told him that she loved him. But he had been the one who had been an ass. It was the right thing to say 'I love you too', if somebody said that they loved you, unless you didn't love them. But George loved Carlin. But he had told her to stop being stupid. He groaned, as he replayed the words in his head, his head in his hands. The only thing on his mind since the Dementor Attack had been Carlin. How she loved him. But he was too much of an idiot to say the right thing, at the right time. The Dementor's had been utterly terrifying. He had felt like he had been dying; all of the happiness had been sucked out of him. He still had yet to start feeling normal, and it was already two days since it. George wanted to believe that she had said it because she was scared. However, inside, he knew that she wouldn't do that. She was too smart to say that, since no matter how much under pressure you are, you never say that you love somebody, if you don't. It had all been messing with his head, which didn't help his smoking habit. His stock of cigarettes had dropped largely since the attack, since the only thing that he enjoyed was smoking. He couldn't sneak out, and kiss Carlin, because she would slap him. Everything had changed; just because of three small words.

"I love you." he muttered roughly, imagining that he was with Carlin. He yearned to say it to her. To make her understand that she hadn't made a fool of herself. Everything would have been perfect, if George wasn't so violent, that he didn't trust himself with her. It probably hadn't helped that he had slept with Evelyn, but that was over. It had just been one night, when he had wanted her more than anything. Sometimes, want took over your life. And slowly, it was starting to take over George's. He hadn't slept well since Christmas. He was up half the night, just staring into the ever lasting darkness; thinking. He had been taking lots of walks, trying to clear his head. Why did she have to go and ruin everything? He stood up roughly, and started to go down. He just wanted to go as far downwards as possible. He thought better when he was high up, so maybe a change would help. He doubted it, but it was worth a try. He wandered into the basement, hands shoved into his pockets. When he saw the only person who he didn't want to see. But who he yearned for day and night. She was just sitting there by the wall, looking destroyed. So, apparently saying I love You hasn't helped either of us. he thought bitterly, and started to think what he should say. He couldn't just walk away. Not now. "Carlin?" he uttered. It wasn't much, but it was as much as he could take. Anything else, and he would have to explain himself. Anything less, and she would claw his eyes out - if she wasn't going to anyway.
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George ll 17 ll 7th Year ll Heartbroken ll Prefect ll Keeper

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Carlin Hayes
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Two days into the first week back at the Academy and she just wanted to leave. She didn't know where to...but she was back to that stage where she didn't want to be here anymore. She probably should just go back to Newry and stay in their old place. She wondered many a times if they had sold the place or just abandoned it...she hoped they had just left it there. She wanted it there...she needed to know her house hadn't been taken over or toppled to the ground. It all meant so many things to Carlin. She needed her house to stand straight and ever strong. Merlin knew, her family was torn apart and there was not strong thread connecting any of them...not even the poor little brother of hers. Her life was in shambles and she had no clue what to do. She had come ready...ready to face this confusion head strong and planned out a whole tactic of how she would be stronger, smarter and a much better person than she ever had been. But, of course, it all had to change. The dementor attack on their train journey back to the academy had shaken her a whole lot. The screams and shrieks of all those students...she wondered how many did not make it. She hadn't stopped to check or waited around to see if anyone she knew was hurt...she had just stormed out the minute the train came to a halt and made her way to the castle. Her face was like stone...pale and emotionless; until she reached her room where she shut the door, threw herself on her bed and spent the rest of the night in tears. It broke her...no, not the dementors or the attack. George. Telling him she loved him. Till date she really didn't get why she had been in such a hurry to say it to him...she just did. The whole situation had overwhelmed her and even more so the way he pushed her aside and made sure she was safe...the way he held her behind him and sent out a Patronus when it seemed pretty clear he wasn't strong enough himself. Neither of the three were...and yet, they stood up for each other. It must have meant something. It did. And stupidly, Carlin acted upon it. She told him she loved him...

The weakest moment of her life also turned out to be the worst moment of her life...the moment that made her heart burst with emotion also turned out to be the moment her heart was shattered to pieces. The way he just stood there and stared at her...those words of indifference and slight mocking that left his lips...her chest had heaved and she could do nothing more than leave. She couldn't say a word...she couldn't do anything. Tears wouldn't roll down her cheeks and neither would curses roll off her tongue. She was just stuck....frozen. It wasn't like she never said those words before...they really never meant anything to her most times; no...all the times except this once. And funnily enough...this had to be the time when she was shunned. Letting out a long, loud sigh she rested her head against the wall sitting on the floor of the basement in a far corner. She wasn't doing anything in particular...just, hiding. Just waiting for that one moment that would change her life...show her what she should be doing and tell whats' right and wrong because she really had no idea what they were. "Carlin?" That voice. Her lips curled almost instantly. She didn't know if it was anger or sadness that filled her insides first...but either way, she was both hurt and upset...and very very pissed. Not turning to look at him as he moved in closer she kept her face impassive and held back the tears that threatened to fall...his presence just too hard to bear. "What!" she snapped. "Lost your way?" Ohh....she wanted to say so much more. She wanted to yell, scream and demand an answer...but no, she'd let him...she'd let him decide if he really wanted to lash out on him. Maybe...just maybe, he'd leave and let her be...after all, he did seem to have a knack for leaving her.


:|: Confused :|: Heartbroken :|: Badger :|: .Carlin.Hayes. :|: Werewolf :|: Seeker :|: Weak :|: Indifferent :|:
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George Lowden
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The way that she didn't turn her head to look at him, combined with how her mouth was curved downwards only meant that George wasn't exactly going to end up kissing her this time. The dimly lit basement made George feel slightly woozy, but he tried not to take any notice; his light blue eyes fixated on her. He couldn't let her hate him. He wouldn't. It was so much more complicated than she thought it was, and he didn't have the energy to explain it. He would let her think that he didn't love her, even though the thought made his heart break. It was the only way that Carlin wouldn't be hurt. She probably was hurting, but that was never long term. Heart break was never long term, unless you were soulmates. He didn't feel as if they were soulmates, but then again, he didn't believe in such things. You could be perfectly happy with one girl, but then equally happy with another. Though, those moments that he had spent with Carlin had been much happier than all of the moments spent with Harriet. But that didn't mean anything. He was sure of it. "What!" she snapped fiestily; already losing her temper with him, even though he had said one simple word. "Lost your way?" she asked bitchily, and George couldn't imagine how the girl in front of him was the same girl who had said 'I love you'. Their facial features were the same, as were their eyes, but the way those delicately formed facial features were in a tight frown frightened George. He hated to see her this way, and what hurt him more - was that he knew how to make her smile.

But he wasn't doing it. He wouldn't say that he loved her, because he loved her too much. The way that her soft brown eyes warmed sparkled when she was excited, the way her soft lips moved against his, the way that her hair colour tended to change colour every day. That was the girl he loved, but he couldn't see her in front of him. He knew that she was preparing for a fight; but he was simply too tired for one. She would win - like she always did, and then he could go to bed and try and sleep - though he knew that he wouldn't be able to. It was useless, since her face would be fresh in his mind. He hated this. He hated life. He just wanted to leave Patronus Academy, and life would be easier. He would have no classes, he would be with his family, and he would have no Carlin. But then, he thought about all of the reasons why he didn't leave Patronus Academy, and they were identical to why life would be easier without Patronus Academy. He couldn't win. "Um.. I just... nevermind." he muttered, feeling like a young boy who had been caught stealing. He didn't really know why he had said her name. He had just wanted to be sure that it was her. He just wanted to hear her voice again - no matter how much spite was in it.
Edited by George Lowden, Nov 27 2010, 03:15 PM.
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George ll 17 ll 7th Year ll Heartbroken ll Prefect ll Keeper

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Carlin Hayes
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"Um.. I just... nevermind." Really?? That's what he had to say. Carlin could feel her insides boiling with rage at those pathetic words. The boy really was asking for him to ripped apart. If Carlin wasn't so stupidly in love with him she really would have snapped that neck of his. Crack. Once and he'd be on the floor. The stupid stupid git. Tears threatened to fall as she continued to curse and insult the boy in her head. How the fuck could he just be this way? She told her she loved him and he called her stupid for feeling that. Okay, maybe she shouldn't be surprised he didn't take it seriously...but hell, hadn't he seen enough of her to know she really did mean it! Damn...if George didn't even see or know that then there really idn't any point in Carlin running behind him this way. If he didn't know...he didn't care. If he didn't care...he didn't love. It was as simple as that...but really, the feelings within her were not that simple. She couldn't let go. The girl who had come prepared to shun him and never talk to him had been weakened the moment he held her hand and shoved her behind him telling her to stay there...protecting her from the dementors by giving himself up to those dark hooded figures. Chivalrous...but that wasn't just how Carlin saw it. She could swear she saw love...she felt love...or was she just so naive that she was imagining it all simply because she was head over heels for him. Oh my...it was just crazy to think she was in love with someone. It never was that way...it was always the other way; and always them that was hurt. Haaa...what a joke. Right now it really didn't seem like there was anyone else hurt in this room besides her. He seemed quite alright not uttering any words and just approaching her out of the blue. Carlin couldn't even look up at him without her face turning pink...her always pale face colored. Clenching her jaw she finally gathered up her courage to look up at him...her eyes filled with loathing and lips in a stright line. She stood up slowly and walked up to him...

"Nevermind? Of course..." she gave a strained laugh "...of course, nevermind! You have the freaking nerve to just pop up by my side and start of a conversation so lamely. After all those times...after all those days and nights; you freaking have the nerve to treat me this way." she found herself blabbering as her mind tried to put proper words together and make sense out of them. Sh ereally just wanted to yell at him...she didn't care what...she just wanted to let this anger out and have him know she wasn't going to take crap from him. She didn't deserve it. True, she wasn't a perfect person and she would totally suck at being a girlfriend...but really, what had she done to him to deserve this treatment. She freaking told him she loved him..and actually meant it. What more could a person like Carlin do for him...for a boy that shunned her whenever he pleased and hugged her whenever he wanted. "I thought you were different. Your four fucking years with one girl made me laugh at one point...and then I admired it realizing there must be good in you." she started off slowly. "But no...no, I was right about men from the very beginning. You really gave no shit, did you? After everything...you just shove me aside when you feel like it, pull me close when you want to and then throw me away yet again when I begin to warm up." her lips were trembling but whether it was anger or hurt...it was hard to understand. "What kind of sick pleasure do you get out of all this? Huh?!" she stepped in closer eyes staring up into his...blue into blue. "For once...just tell me how you really feel. Tell me if you even care about me the slightest....tell me even if you just hate me....oh, george! Just tell me for Merlins' sake." Whether she'd burst out into tears or she'd just run away after this...she didn't know. But she'd stay...her tears held back and her anger making her hold her teeth pressed together...she'd stay to hear it from him; praying he would actually be sincere this time...true.



:|: Confused :|: Heartbroken :|: Badger :|: .Carlin.Hayes. :|: Werewolf :|: Seeker :|: Weak :|: Indifferent :|:
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George Lowden
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He knew that there was a storm coming. An argument, and there was no way to get out of it. Of course, he could run, but then he wouldn't look very impressive. As she looked at him slowly, he saw the anger boiling in her blood immediately. She stood up slowly, making George want to cower back. He felt scared. But why? He gritted his teeth, as she came up to him. He would just let her say whatever she wanted to say; and then he could go back, and think over things. He let out a low sigh, biting his lower lip anxiously. "Nevermind? Of course..." she said dangerously, letting out a fake laugh. He couldn't recognize her. He couldn't quite understand who he was seeing before his eyes, because it wasn't the girl he loved. And then she started to talk. He heard the words; but he couldn't quite process them. He knew that she was having a go at him, but he couldn't make himself listen properly. However, he slowly started to process the words. "What kind of sick pleasure do you get out of this? Huh?!" she growled, and he felt himself gritting his teeth dangerously. Pleasure? Pleasure? he repeated in his head. She thought that he was getting any sort of pleasure out of this? If she was, she really didn't know him at all. He wanted to scream at her; but oddly, he wanted to kiss her. It felt really odd. He was attracted to her, when she was angry. He knew that this was wrong, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't control his emotions, for Christ's sake.

She started to ask him how she really felt. He bit his tongue, so that he wouldn't shout the 3 words that he dreaded. He grinded his teeth slightly, and tried to think what he should say. She had said so much. She had been so unhappy with his answer. But he couldn't think of one word to reply. He took a step towards her, and stared into her blue eyes. "You think I'm enjoying this? You really think that I'm getting some pleasure out of this. Do you even know me? At all?" he started off, trying to keep his voice steady and calm. However, somehow, his voice was low, and dangerous. He was ready for an argument now. His voice started to rise slightly at the end. "Do you think that you're the only one whose hurting? Are you really that fucking selfish?" he knew that he was starting to get a little harsh, but he didn't really care. She needed to know just what he thought of her at this moment. If you think that this is easy for me, just leave. Just LEAVE?!", his voice breaking off at the end. He had so much more to say; but he couldn't bring himself to say anything more. He took one step away from her, not breaking eye contact. His voice was starting to get more rough; and more violent. More like it had been when he had first found out that Harriet was cheating. "Being with somebody for 4 years isn't easy. But you wouldn't understand that, would you?!"
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George ll 17 ll 7th Year ll Heartbroken ll Prefect ll Keeper

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Carlin Hayes
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The way his face stayed like stone...the way he clenched his jaw...Carlin missed nothing as she yelled at him. But apparently he missed a whole lot in her eyes...didn't he freaking see how hurt she was? He wanted her to see how hurt he was? What the hell...she had told him she'd stay by him..she had told him she loved him for gods sake! And all he did was shove her aside like something unimportant...and then; he expects her to understand? His words hit her strong and the tone of his voice made her blood boil. How dare he turn this around on me? Do I know him at all? Hell no...she knew nothing about him. But it wasn't like he ever made an effort to let her know. The two times she actually let herself close to him he shunned her and he expected her to be alright with it. How dull could he get? Carlin simply wanted to scream back at him as his words slapped at her cheeks...over and over...but she stopped everytime he continued with more questions only adding to the list of questions in her own head. Even if she wasn't yelling; her head was screaming pretty loudly...if only he could hear them all. Her face had turned a bright shade of red and her fists were clenched at her sides. She couldn't really control her anger when it overtook her...but it seemed like George was going to be lucky. Her mind seemed to stop her hands from dipping into her pockets and slipping out her wand. Oh...how she wished to just throw a hex at him and leave him there...probably hurt him so bad physically her heart wouldn't hurt as much. She was angry. Very angry. Did she love him? Ohh...the anger and hurt that filled her insides masked every bit of the liking she had for him...for now, no...she didn't like him. She didn't want to see his face...she didn't want him near her...she wanted him to leave; just the way he had when she told him she loved him. Turn his back on her and leave...because it really wouldn't hurt that much anymore.

And there he said it..."LEAVE" making Carlin laugh out loud. "Oh no no...you've mastered that..." she continued laughing softly not leaving her eyes off him. "Being with somebody for 4 years isn't easy. But you wouldn't understand that, would you?!" he ended...words just as cruel as his previous but it didn't really faze Carlin as much as she thought it would. So, what? Its true...she didn't feel a thing. She didn't know how it felt like to be in a true relationship...she hadn't felt that. But she did feel his pain...she did acknowledge it and tell him she'd be by his side. He was the fucking one who pushed her away and didn't want her by his side...except of course, when he just took her to his bed and conveniently slept by her side. Bastard. "Not everyones as stupid or blind as you, Lowden." she spat out not wanting to even utter his name. It was so personal...she loved saying his name. She didn't like a nickname for him..she loved the way his name rolled over her tongue. But no...not today; she wouldn't say. "Not everyone goes around for four years with their eyes shut and doesn't see what's going on around them. I see bitches like her...assholes like you. I keep my distance and not fall head over heels....so, obviously, I don't understand!" her lips trembled this time. She really hadn't stayed away this time. Yes, that was her mistake...she let herself be carried away and look where she landed up. Down in the dumps. "You call me selfish..." her voice had lowered but they were just as angry as they had been "Really? You think I'm the one who's selfish here...because if memory serves me right..." she paused as her tongue started to form his name; but stopped herself "...it was me that was there for you when you were hurting and it was you that threw me out of your life....without the least bit of concern of how I felt...and I came back even after..." she looked away angrily...no, she could feel the tears threatening to fall. She couldn't let him see...she wouldn't. Swallowing hard she steadied her voice as continued. "Fine...I'd let that go. But now...now, what stopped you from responding to me? In the train....and now...don't you see me hurting? You fucking call me selfish!" her voice rising yet again. "You bloody..." she stopped herself from cursing out loud and pressed her lips together. "I hate you...I hate everything you do to me. I hate how you hurt me." ...I hate how weak you make me after all...telling him how much he hurt her made her weak enough already. She continued..."The person who hurt you is dead...there's nothing you or they can do." she leveled her eyes with his "But me....he stands right in front of me every single day, makes a fool out of me, tortures me. One day he walks up and talks to me like nothing happened...one day he tells me he'll be cold and uninviting...another he takes me up to his bed...and then he just shoves me aside yet again..." Now really did he really have the right to be mad?




((pardon mistakes...i'll come back and edit!))

:|: Confused :|: Heartbroken :|: Badger :|: .Carlin.Hayes. :|: Werewolf :|: Seeker :|: Weak :|: Indifferent :|:
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George Lowden
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Everything was slowly shattering around him. The love of his life. Gone. Healthy lungs. Gone. Any sort of aspect on life. Gone. He couldn't think of a valid reason to why he even stayed here. Let her words pierce into his heart, and leave a mark. Just like she did every time. She thought that he enjoyed all of this. Well, he had never enjoyed anything less. Harriet's death had been easier to handle than this, and he had thought that she was the love of his life. All of the harsh words that she spat out. All of the harsh laughs that she laughed, didn't make George hate her. They made him love her more. It showed him that she wasn't perfect. That she made mistakes, and that she had true feelings. There was a real person underneath the shorts skirts, and the make up. The harsh words were pouring out of her mouth, and all of them fazed George ever so slightly. The fact that she thought all of this, but hadn't said it before hurt him. She started to say how she hated him. And that hurt him. His face remained cool, and seemingly unfazed, but underneath it all - he was quietly dying. She hated him. Whilst, two days ago, she had loved him. She was messing with her head. And then, she said how the person who was hurting him was dead. But it was untrue. She was hurting him, even though he hadn't realized it before. Every minute when he didn't have her, he was hurt. But she was stupid enough to think that he didn't have any feelings. That she was the only one who was being hurt by all of this. He wanted to shout at Carlin, but, somehow, it turned out calm. He felt like he was a robot. He was just moving and talking. Not showing any emotion.

He sighed deeply, and matched her blue eyes. He wanted to say so much, but he couldn't fit it all into less than an hour. So he only had to say the things that mattered. Say the things that could make her see sense, though he imagined that this would be a hard task. "Oh. So now you hate me, do you? How come, you told me that you loved me, then? How come, you stuck to me like your life depended on it, if you hated me? Or was it all an act. See just how vulnerable I was." he started off, his voice scarily calm, though he felt the complete opposite. "That was your plan all along, wasn't it? Find the vulnerable ones. The hurt ones, and then hurt them. Be a selfish bitch." he continued. His heart hurt when he said all of these things, and his mind screamed at him to shut up, but he took no notice. They had to be out in the open. "You don't know what it's like, do you? You don't know what it's like to find out somebody you love was sleeping with another person. You don't know what it's like to lose somebody you love, cause your Carlin fucking Hayes." he spit out the last three words; saying her name was like a poison. The more feeling you put into it, the less dangerous you sounded. "You don't fall in love. You lie. You cheat. You don't know what it's like to be cheated on, because you're the one who cheats. You've probably been sleeping around with 10 boys, whilst you acted like you were in love with me. But you wouldn't fall in love. You're too fucking perfect for that." he said harshly, the sarcasm in his voice unmissable. He knew that he was being beyond harsh, but it was too late. What was said, was said. "Because love is something you don't understand. Just like you don't understand me." he said, slowing down. His voice continued to be calm, but his insides boiled with rage.
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George ll 17 ll 7th Year ll Heartbroken ll Prefect ll Keeper

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Carlin Hayes
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((eeep...got carried away :$))

If she wasn't so bloody proud she would have broken down into tears as his words bombarded her. Ohh...how could he say all these things. Granted, she was the school whore...but really, George? Of all the people he was going to be the one that rubbed it in her face now? Of all the people...he was the only one she actually let her guard down before...and he; he had to say all these things. The sound of her heart breaking was almost audible but she pressed her lips together in a tight line and glared back at him...her eyes probably glistened as they lined with tears but that was all that they showed. Anger and a soft line of upset. She found her head replyting to each and everything he was saying but her tongue not finding the proper time of silence for her to interject and say what she wanted. To see how vulnerable he was? To pick up the hurt ones and hurt them? A selfish bitch? She could feel her cheeks turn hot and her insides fall at his harsh words. Pushing away the first few days there had never been a moment of lie with George. Even the first few days were as true as it could get for someone like Carlin...and yet, here he was questioning her honesty and faithfulness to him...questioning her reasons behind getting together and in bed with him. To hurt him. Ohhh...it was far from that. She wanted to wash away her pain along with his. True, his pain wasn't a priority at that point because she had been the one that was alone and confused...and she just went to him for that affection and care he gave her. That soft gentle boy she first spent time with had suddenly disappeared. Now, he was this! How did he expect her to love this man? This one who tore her into pieces and didn't seem to give a damn about what he was doing to her. The one who simply whined, grumbled and began tearing his own life apart because his dead girlfriend cheated on him...throwing away people from his life and abusing them...hurting her. Just because she couldn't stand him now....he figured everything else was an act? Did he not see how he has changed...what a heartless asshole he's become! He pushed her around like some rock in his way....entertaining his lonely walk kicking her around between his feet. Oh yess yess...I love you so much for that. she scowled.

The irony of his words wanted to make her laugh but her lips and face didn't move from the expression they were in. I did find the one I love sleeping with another person... But of course, she didn't say that aloud but let him continue and end spitting out her name..cursing her. Her chest heaved at his words and she couldn't help but cringe. You are doing a pretty good job of showing me... she muttered in her head. She kept defending herself saying staying in love with someone after they are dead and finding out a secret from they were alive was nothing close to being as painful as being in love with someone right in front of you; never having the chance to show them how you feel because they really don't give a damn. Seriously, if he did...why the fuck did he always just run away every time she warmed up. She felt like such a joke. She'd slip into his arms and stare up into his eyes and say all those words that usually never meant anything...but filled with emotion and honesty for George...and at the end of it all; she was just shoved aside like some plain slut he slept with. She couldn't bring up Evelyn...hell, no...she couldn't bring anything up. He sure as hell would have a whole lot to back him up then...well, at least when it came to having tortured and treated Evelyn like crap. That really didn't show the best side of her...so she wasn't going to complain about him sleeping with her. Right...yes, of course not. She wouldn't. Her eyes widened as his words suddenly brought her back to the present. What the fuck did he just say? Actes like she was in love with him? Act? Oh Merlin...she just wanted to strangle him right now; shut him up and just snap that neck of his. What the bloody hell did he know...nothing! he knew nothing of what he was saying. Stupid stupid ass. Did he words in the train actually seem like a lie to him? Did he actually believe she was just saying that and didn't really mean it? Did he not see how much she felt it...how her heart beats for him? Her lips curled slightly as he finally ended his words letting a silence fall between them for a very long time. His words ringing in her head making her want to break down and just cry right there...when would he ever understand?

"It's true..." she started off after taking a long breath and looking up at him. "It's true that I don't understand you. How would I? Every fucking time I come closer you push me away...what the hell am I supposed to read out of that? Of course, I think you don't care...and honestly, I don't think you do." she finally said. The words heavy on her tongue...no, she didn't believe it. She simply said it to hurt him like he hurt her. She couldn't bear to say anything more...so that's all she had to hurt him. Looking away she circled around him and moved to his back not wanting to face him or have to look at him anymore. "And just so you know..." she sighed and let her voice trail off. No...she couldn't let him get the better of her. She couldn't just let him say all this and just give up...she didn't deserve to be pushed down like that. If it had been anyone else she would have gladly taken the label he threw around her neck...but for George; no...he was the one person she thought would actually stand by her when people shooed her off like a rabid dog. And now the bloody git treated her like everyone one else did. Ohh...how it hurt. Her empty chest felt so heavy. Clenching her jaw she spoke "Forget it, George. Forget it...forget I ever said anything to you....forget I said I loved you. It clearly was a mistake." she turned around to face his back. "Not like you even seem to remember any of it...but let's just forget I ever said I loved you. That's better right? For you..." she stepped in closer and spoke...her tone in a harsh breath "Just because you fucking can't get over that bitch you throw that all out on me. It probably was this annoying stubborness of yours that led her to him...she probably wasn't a slut; you just made her one by being the asshole you are." the words were forced. It stuck in her throat one too many times as she said it...pausing awkwardly in between and staring up at him. She knew that none of it was true...he was a kind one before. He was one of the sweetest guys she ever met...but right now, he was far from it and there was nothing else she could say to get to him. And well...a part of her wanted to see what he'd react to. Harriet...or her?


:|: Confused :|: Heartbroken :|: Badger :|: .Carlin.Hayes. :|: Werewolf :|: Seeker :|: Weak :|: Indifferent :|:
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George Lowden
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This couldn't be happening. The girl that he loved. The girl that he had yearned for night after night, now with no love in her voice. She looked different. She sounded different. She was different. He felt like strangling her; just because she was showing this side of him so perfectly. He wasn't supposed to be like this. He had grown up with anger, hatred and frustration, and that had been why he was the opposite when he had been with Harriet. But now... but now he reminded himself of his father. He shuddered at this thought, breaking the eye contact between the two. It was simply too much. The tears rimming her eyes were making his heart break, and he doubted that he could take any more heart breaks. The silence was louder than any words. It spoke for so many unsaid things, and George hated it. He was about to open his own mouth, when Carlin started to talk again. And this time, he felt all the love for her starting to come back. He couldn't be harsh to her any more. Not when he felt like this. Push her away said his mind, but he didn't want to anymore. He wanted to give in, and embrace her - no matter how much it would hurt her. He closed his eyes for a moment, wanting to wake up from this nightmare that he was living. But when he opened them, she was still here - angry, pissed off, and spitting out the insults fluently. It sounded as if she was made to insult, but he didn't want to believe this. She wasn't the Carlin that he had fallen in love with. The Carlin that he had fallen in love with had healed his heart, not broken it. The Carlin that he had fallen in love with had given him shivers every time they touched. The Carlin that he had fallen in love with had made his heart pump against his chest rapidly, skipping a beat every time they kissed.

Can't get over Harriet? Can't fucking get over her? his head repeated, shouting it so that his head started to throb. He wanted to stun her; let this nightmare be over already. It sounded as if she was making him choose between Harriet, and her. Wasn't the answer pretty fucking obvious. Who was making his heart break? Who was right here, staring at him with those eyes? Who was making him hate himself? And then, he snapped. "YOU FUCKING THINK THAT I'M NOT OVER HARRIET? I'M THE FUCKING OPPOSITE." he shouted, his deep voice echoing throughout the corridors. "JUST OPEN YOUR EYES AND SMELL THE FUCKING FLOWERS. YOU THINK THAT I DON'T HATE MYSELF?" he continued, his voice unrecognisable. He hated it when he shouted. But she was making him so fucking angry. "IT WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME YOU WERE WRONG. DO YOU THINK I DON'T REALISE THAT I'M PUSHING YOU AWAY? DO YOU THINK THAT I ACTUALLY ENJOY WHAT I'M DOING? DO YOU THINK THAT I DON'T L-..." but he broke off. He was about to say it. He couldn't say it. He just couldn't. "LIVE, HATING MYSELF?" he picked up, but he was pretty obvious that he had broken off. He just hoped that she hadn't realised what he was about to say. Otherwise, all of his effort would have been blown. Just because of one word. "WELL, I DO. OKAY? I do. Happy?" he asked, his voice breaking off. His throat was raw from all of the shouting. He had no idea just how she would react. She hadn't heard him shout that much before. Maybe one or two words, but not around 5 questions. 5 extremely heartbreaking question.
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George ll 17 ll 7th Year ll Heartbroken ll Prefect ll Keeper

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Carlin Hayes
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Carlin jumped back almost instantly as George snapped. Her teary eyes wide and he face stuck in a surprised expression as she swallowed hard...in fear. He bellowed. She stood still. Her head just went Fine fine...alright alright...okay okay...ohh, stop shouting will you! as his voice echoed down the corridors...until he had an awkward pause for just a little bit more than a second. "Don't you think i don't l..." she repeated in her head trying to figure out why he suddenly stopped. His words right after seemed to pull her through. Live...love? Did he mean love? A lump formed in her throat and she frowned slightly. So he did love her? She was so confused at that moment. Then why the hell couldn't he just tell her...why did he just slip away every other time she softened up. Why was he acting like he didn't care? Or wait...was she just reading too much into it. Maybe she was just trying to hear what she wanted to hear...yes; maybe he just had a lump in his throat. Right...no? Hmmm....Nothing made sense to her...the stupid boy made no sense at all. He was just screaming his heart out...and because he was; Carlin took these words at face value. They must mean something if they came out that way...but really; what did they mean? Nothing confused her as much as he did right now. So he did realize he was pushing her away? He was hurting through all of this...and yet; he went on with it? "Happy?" he ended making Carlin simply frown at his words. What the hell was wrong with him? If he really did hate all of this why was he doing it to himself? Carlin sure as hell wasn't forcing him away...it was quite the opposite. She had thrown herself at him even after he slept with that stupid bitch and yet...he shoved her out of his way as if he had his eye on something better. Well, at least that's what she thought until this very moment. Now...she wasn't sure what to think. The boy sure was messed up...and she didn't seem to be able to influence him the least bit. No matter what she said; he seemed to be stuck at that one place. She said she loved him...he didn't budge. She yelled at him...he didn't budge. And now what; she cry? Hell no...she wasn't going to so pathetic and beg him to come love her...if he didn't or if he chooses to stay away from her even if he does then so be it...he could go to hell for all she cared.

"Why the fuck would I be happy?" she spat out looking away and walking towards the door. "I'm not here to make you feel worse about yourself. You're over that slut...good for you. Then why the hell you pushing me away...I certainly do not understand." she wanted to just slip away saying these words. She was tired of this conversation; more like argument. They were just going in circles and he sure as hell didn't seem to be too accomodating about changing the path. No matter what she did he went back to simply defending himself by saying he was hurting too. Then why the fuck did he just not end the pain and be with her...if he wants her why not be with her...she wants him; oh yes...she does. "You're bloody mental you know...konked in the head." she said bitterly...more upset of how things were turning out than just angry at him. "Why the fucking hell can't you just stop pushing me away if you don't like what's happening? Why the hell can you not just stop hurting yourself? Surely...I'm not the one hurting you!" she added quickly as her head wondered if that was what he was implying. Hell, that better not be...because she'd have his eyes out if he said yes to that. Bloody hell! She was doing everything and anything she could to make him understand how much she cared for him and what an ass he was being. If he was to say she was the one hurting him...so help him god; she wouldn't be too happy...and Carlins' not pretty unhappy. She frowned at him and turned around once again to step up closer to him. "Do you or do you not love me, George?" she looked straight into his eyes and the question was straight forward. If he had a answer that would be a good ending...if he didn't; well he probably should be figuring that out instead of yelling his heart out. She didn't care about anything else...she just wanted a reply to her words. The ones she asked now...the ones she said in the train...if he couldn't answer; this conversation was over....


:|: Confused :|: Heartbroken :|: Badger :|: .Carlin.Hayes. :|: Werewolf :|: Seeker :|: Weak :|: Indifferent :|:
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